GZH3 Run #1502: The Handyman Memorial Hash

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

For all the beautiful trails, classic fuckups, scenic beer stops, pool drinks, antics in the circle, and boisterous bus rides back to the Mango Bar, the Hash really comes down to the friendships made and memories shared with fellow hashers. Not many in the Guangzhou Hash have contributed to providing more of the aforementioned than Handyman, who we remember this Saturday as he moves on-on to the Great Hash in the Sky.

Sadly, Handyman passed away at his home on August 9th by his own choosing. He will be remembered as a terrific hasher, excellent hare and overall great friend. He will be sorely missed.

As every hare knows; your last hash is the one that counts. So in his honor, Handyman’s last trail will be set one last time: with a beer stop farewell before we convene at B point to share memories and laughter in the circle. In memoriam, we ask that hashers wear black on trail for this run.

A collection will also be taken and presented in Handyman’s name to a suicide prevention organization operating here in China. Those not able to attend may contact the GM or Hash Cash to donate. If even one life can be positively affected by our efforts, it will be an exceptional tribute to our friend and fellow hasher.
Join this Saturday as we remember the one, the only, and the true blue - Handyman.

On On.

What: Run #1502: The Handyman Memorial Hash
Hares: Handyman
When: Saturday August 18, at 13:00
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 - 6 yo free, 7 - 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Black running gear, change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit

Need help? Call one of the numbers below:

In Chinese:
Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center Hotline (24/7):
0800-810-1117 or 010-82951332
http://www.crisis.org.cn

Guangzhou Crisis Research and Intervention Center (24/7):
020-81899120 or 020-12320-5

In English:
Lifeline Shanghai (daily 10:00-22:00):
021-62798990
https://www.lifeline-shanghai.com/

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GZH3 Run #1499 : The Arse over Tits Hash

Ladies and ‘gentlemen’ of the Guangzhou Hash:

Are you tired of Womb Raider dragging you through bush as thick as the hair on Silver Bullets legs, as dense as Hiking Clubs feminist ‘ideals’, as shaggy as the armpits on the last Chinese girl you picked up in Mango Bar on a Saturday night?
Are you sick of having to crawl through shrubbery on your hands and knees, and of trails leaving you scratched and bitten?
Well, so is Forget me Twat – so this week she has taken Womb Raider in hand and shown her how to set a trail as smooth, clean and ‘virgin’ as [enter favourite hashers name here] well shaven buttcrack! Not convinced – then cum this Saturday to find out for yourselves what this pneumatic hareing duo discovered while skipping gaily hand in hand through the wilds of outer GZ.
On On
Womb Raider & Forget me Twat

What: Run #1499 The Arse over Tits Hash
Hares: Womb Raider & Forget me Twat
When: 13:00 on Saturday August 4th
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 - 6 yo free, 7 - 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Swimsuit, mosquito repellent, sun screen, change of clothes & dignity.

GZH3 Run #1498 : The Impenetrable Jungle Hash

Ladies and ‘gentlemen’ of Guangzhou Hash,

are you tired of cheesy short flat trails? This Saturday the hares in their infinite wisdom and kindness have decide to break from this disturbing trend.
Womb Raider supported by her acolyte Smegma searched long and hard to give you the best of the best of Guangzhou Hash. Cum prepared to swing your way through the GZ jungle, bash your way through undergrowth and reap the rewards of a watery B point.

OnOn
Womb Raider & Smegma

What: Run#1498: The Impenetrable Jungle Hash
Hares: Womb Raider & Smegma
When: 13:00 on Saturday July 28
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 - 6 yo free, 7 - 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes and shoes, swimsuit, mosquito repellent, sense of humour, sense of direction.

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GZFMH3 Run # 146: Bollyboobs FO & the Forgotten Guangzhou Hash

Ever wondered about the limits of human endurance? It seems Bollyboobs found hers; teaching best practices for business to Chinese students and decided to take the plunge in the pool of uncertainty. Let's make her official Fuck Off a splash she will find hard and long to forget!

Want to know your limits? Papasan has been haring full moon hashes for years with, at times, unfollowable logic, checks and trails. For this event he has promised to find not one but two of the best beerstops in Guangzhou Full Moon Hash history and a bash to question your will to get up Wednesday morning. Judge for yourself this Tuesday.

OnOn

Hunkaspunk
Somehow Supreme Leader of the Guangzhou Hash.

What: Run #146: Bolyboobs FO & the Forgotten Guangzhou Hash
Hares: Papasan & Bollyboobs
When: Tuesday, July 24, 7:15PM OnOn
Where: Line 1, Xi Men Kou Station, Exit B
Cost: Free, but cost of dinner shared among hashers present.
Bring: As little as possible as you will carry it to B, but flashlight and change of clothes could be useful.

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“GZH3 Run # 1497: The Supposed To Be Hard Hash

Ladies and 'Gentlemen' of the GZ Hash, 

When Handy Man and Holy Moly heard it was an easy and girlie trail last Saturday, Holy Moly grumbled angrily, "It's supposed to be hard…" echoing same words his sexually frustrated new girlfriend muttered on that first night they spent together. While he failed to present something Long & Hard to his girlfriend, Holy Moly decided to present GZH3 with a Long & Hard trail as a sort of compensation. Although "Long & Hard" is not entirely promised, we promise you'll be wet and wanting at the end of the trail (wanting of what, we aren’t certain).
Cum and celebrate Holy Moly's deflowering this Saturday and enjoy his splashes of a sticky white substance all over the trails.

-- Handy Man

What: GZH3 Run #1497: The Supposed To Be Hard Hash
When: 13:00 on Saturday July 21st
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 130 RMB Cash or WeChat
Hares: Holy Moly & Handy Man
Bring: Change of clothes and shoes, swimming suit, Mosquito spray

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GZH3 Run # 1496: The Girlie Hash

Ladies and 'Gentlemen' of the GZ Hash, 

Nature is taking over.
Just like Hunkaspunk and Hiking Club have done a forceful takeover of mismanagement, vegetation in guangzhou is overpowering trails and villages and infringing on our Well known trails. Be ready to bushwhack your way through thorns and spiderwebs and waist high fronds of some random prickly bush... Just kidding! Hiking Club is a pansy, She Wouldn't pull a three inches on you guys. Cum this saturday and celebrate the entering of a new era of actual trails.
Nora the Explorer

Extra extra, read all about it!
This weekend’s trail looks to be the best ever, with nothing less than a spectacular showing from hares, Nora the Explorer and Hiking Club. We here at the Hash Weekly Journal have heard that this is set to be Nora the Explorer’s first trail as lead hare. Will she succeed find us the most epic trail ever, complete with swim spot and beer stop or will she allow Hiking Club to commandeer the trail and take us yet again through the wilds of Longdong? Come Saturday and find out.
Hiking Club

More bad news:
With the quality of our emails rising quickly, the pools getting cleaner and the food on the Hash better, the mismanagement had to decide to raise our prices a bit from the 1985 levels. Please prepare a (still insanely low) 130 rmb Hongbao for the Hashcash from now on to cover bus, trail, beers and dinner.

What: GZH3 Run #14965; The Girlie Hash
When: 13:00 on Saturday July 14
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 130 RMB Cash or WeChat
Hares: Nora the Explorer & Hiking Club
Bring: Change of clothes and shoes, bathing suit optional

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GZH3 Run # 1495: The Sic Semper Tyrannis GM Changeover Hash & Tap Dat Ass Fuckoff Hash

Ladies and Gentlemen of the GZ Hash,

This Saturday, put your proverbial foot in the GM's proverbial ass as we christen a new mastermind of the GZH3, and bid adieu-and-fuck you to TDA! Who will be the new GM, you ask? Will Tap-Dat-Ass actually drink a beer? The only way to find out is to cum Saturday...at 12:00!

*especially the GM, himself...
**All-American bbq: made in Sweden.
***Speaking of the GM...

What: GZH3 Run #1495: The Sic Semper Tyrannis GM Changeover Hash & Tap Dat Ass Fuckoff Hash @ 12:00
When: 12:00 on Saturday July 7.
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B @ 12:00 (Line 5)
Hares: Three Inches of Pain & Womb Raider
Bring: Change of clothes and shoes, shaggy socks recommended.

On On!
-Three Inches of Pain

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GZFMH3 Run # 145: The 1500th Celebration or The Drinking in the Moonlight Hash

Ladies and 'Gentlemen' of the GZ Hash and the rest of the world,

As you know, GZH3 are celebrating this weekend their 1500th run with a full scheduled fest of runs, circles, bashes and beer. There is no exception for the Full moon Run. Except the moon itself provides the stage light in GZ alleys to drink and dance in the moonlight.

So better stretch your bellies and arms with some cold beverages at the base of all drinkers, Mango Bar, before the 1500th madness will kick in.

What: GZFMH3 Run #145: The 1500th Celebration or The Drinking in the Moonlight Hash
When: Jun 29th, 7:30PM OnOn
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Hare: Lost Sausage & Pornstache
Bring: Torch, Drinking Arms and Dancing Shoes

On On!
-The Hares

Disclaimer: China and hashing can be dangerous activities. The organizers of the Guangzhou Hash accept no liability for anything that happens before, during or after the Hash.

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GZH3 Run # 1493: The Good Ol’ Hash

Ladies and 'Gentlemen' of the GZ Hash,

Cum, run, drink, swim, eat, drink, drink, drink!

What: GZH3 Run #1493: The Good Ol' Hash

When: Jun 23nd, 1:00PM SHARP!!!

Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)

Hare: Hunkaspunk & Mystery Hare

Bring for yourself: shirt, optional swimming trunks

Bring for your baby: hat, 5 diapers, 1 swimming diaper, wet wipes, dry wipes, drool, cloth 2 sets of clean clothes, 1 warm meal, 1 fruit snack, spoon, assorted other snacks, 3 doses of milk powder, hot water, 2 pacifiers, milk bottle, water bottle, baby-Bjorn, teddy bear, shoes, pants, flotation device, mosquito spray, ass cream, sunscreen, umbrella, towel, wife, baby, cart.

AND! Last handful of days to register for the 1500th Weekend in YINGDE. Saturday June 30th and Sunday July 1st... epic weekend in store!

On On!

-Hunkaspunk

 

Disclaimer: China and hashing can be dangerous activities. The organizers of the Guangzhou Hash accept no liability for anything that happens before, during or after the Hash.

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