#1477: The Global Warning Tips

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of The Guangzhou Hash, Global Warming is an enormous problem globally, but especially for the Dutch and their low level country. this inescapable fact led the Hare of this week, Hunkaspunk, to China finding a safe space in the back country of GZ. He paired up with mountaineering expert Lost Sausage to find a natural pace in the mountains to get the belly cooled from outside and inside to survive even the hot and shitty lobal warming days.

So get READY for the BEST HASH EVER with a cold pool, cold beer, and global warming tips.

WHAT: GZH3 Run #1447: The Global Warning Safe House Hash

WHEN: Saturday, August 19th, 1:00PM *GERMAN STYLE (ON TIME)*

WHERE: Mango Bar, Taojin Exit B (Metro Line 5)

HARES: Lost Sausage & Hunkaspunk

#1436 The No Means Yes Hash

Ladies & “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

No Means No received his hash name by regularly turning down requests from fellow hashers. “No, I don’t think I need another beer;” “No, I don’t think that it’s my responsibility to scream at that innocent man over there;” and “No, you’ve had too much to drink and I don’t think it’s appropriate to be touching each other” can frequently be heard during or after the Hash.
This week’s run, however, will mark a departure from his refusing ways as No Means No says YES to the Guangzhou Hash!
YES, there will be BALLBUSTER trail this Saturday.
YES, there will be a regular runner’s trail.
YES, there will be a walker’s option. 3 trails!
YES’ 1972 album ‘Fragile’ was pure genius.
YES, Saturday’s trail will be long and hard
YES, there will be swimming at the B Point.
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, that porn video was so great!
YES, there will be finger-lickin-good roasted chicken at Saturday’s restaurant.
What will you ask No Means No to do on Saturday? Just remember – he can’t refuse because, after all, it’s the No Means Yes Hash. On On Saturday for trailin’, swimmin’, and finger-lickin’-chikin’ at the GZH3!
What: GZH3 Run #1436 – The No Means Yes Hash
When: Saturday, June 3rd. Meet at 1:00PM SHARP (Hiking Club meets at 2:00PM)
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B at 1:00PM (Line 5)
Hares: No Means No & Three Inches of Pain
 
Looking ahead – the GZH3 travels to Dongguan for the 3rd Pearl River Delta Hash with the Dongguan H3 and Shekou H3. The DGH3 is setting a fantastic trail, finishing at their Hash bar for a circle, and finishing with a BBQ free flow! Space is limited to one bus, so contact Three Inches or Womb Raider to register, or pay at the Mango Bar on Saturday. Going to be another great PRD Hash!
Cost is RMB 200 per hasher and includes a commemorative PRD patch. If you’re still thirsty after two hours, start a tab. If you suck at life, the Dongguan hash has also been overly-generous in providing Vegetarian and Non-Drinking options. Sigh…
 
70RMB – Bus, trail, patch. (Purchase food and drink on your own)
140RMB – Bus, trail, drinks. (Purchase food on your own)
140RMB – Bus, trail, BBQ dinner. (Purchase drinks on your own)
200RMB – Bus, trail, drinks, BBQ! What’s not to love?!?!
 
What: GZH3 Run #1438 & PRD Hash #3 – The No Means Yes Hash
When: Saturday, June 17th. Meet at 1:00PM SHARP (Hiking Club meets at 2:00PM)
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B at 1:00PM (Line 5)
Hares: Dongguan Hash
 
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain

#1437 The Magical Mystery Tour

Ladies & “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

After last week’s beautiful weather, stunning trail, and incident-free bus ride back to Mango Bar, the Harerazor could think of no better gift to the GZH3 than to have Three Inches of Pain set another trail this Saturday!

Buckle-in for another allegedly alluring trail, supposed swim spot at the B point, and purportedly problem-free bus ride….not to mention Cum Cannon’s fifty-fourth fake fuck-off hash. After last week’s Hash, you don’t know what you’ll find as we board Mr. Lu’s bus of mystery once again.
 
On On Saturday for more mayhem on what is sure to be an improvement to the GZH3Magican Mystery Tour.
What: GZH3 Run #1437 – The Magical Mystery Tour
When: Saturday, June 10th. Meet at 1:00PM SHARP (Hiking Club meets at 2:00PM)
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B at 1:00PM (Line 5)
Hares: Cum Cannon, Three Inches of Pain, & Just Fei Fei
 
NEXT WEEK – the GZH3 travels to Dongguan for the 3rd Pearl River Delta Hash with the Dongguan H3 and Shekou H3. The DGH3 is setting a fantastic trail, finishing at their Hash bar for a circle, and finishing with a BBQ free flow! Space is limited to one bus, so contact Three Inches or Womb Raider to register, or pay at the Mango Bar on Saturday. Going to be another great PRD Hash!
Cost is RMB 200 per hasher and includes a commemorative PRD patch. If you’re still thirsty after two hours, start a tab. If you suck at life, the Dongguan hash has also been overly-generous in providing Vegetarian and Non-Drinking options. Sigh…
 
70RMB – Bus, trail, patch. (Purchase food and drink on your own)
140RMB – Bus, trail, drinks. (Purchase food on your own)
140RMB – Bus, trail, BBQ dinner. (Purchase drinks on your own)
200RMB – Bus, trail, drinks, BBQ! What’s not to love?!?!
 
We’re down to EIGHT (8) seats on the bus, so reserve your spot with myself or Womb Raider ASAP!
 
What: GZH3 Run #1438 & PRD Hash #3
When: Saturday, June 17th. Meet at 1:00PM SHARP (Hiking Club meets at 2:00PM)
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B at 1:00PM (Line 5)
Hares: Dongguan Hash
 
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain

#1435 GZH3 Project Assignment

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

S&S and Cum Cannon have an assignment for you this weekend:


GZH3 Project Assignment

 

Project Overview: Hashers will show up to Mango Bar on May 27th, 2017 at 1:00 PM.  Hashers should be prepared to run long and hard, stop for some beer, run long and hard, then continue to drink beer after they have completed the first task. Hashers will then need to prepare witty accusations followed by a dinner in the countryside.

Objective(s): Hashers will be expected to continue working on the drinking and running skills that have been developed this academic year (but mostly their drinking skills).

Time: Saturday, May 27th, 2017 at 1:00 PM SHARP!

Classroom: Mango Bar – Taojin MTR – Exit B

Materials: Shoes, hash bag, a change of clothes, and beer

Assessment: “Socratic Circle”

Guided questions: Hashers should answer the following questions to receive full credit on the guided questions portion of this project:

  1. Why is Cum Cannon still haring for the GZH3?
  2. Compare/Contrast Scratch ‘n Sniff’s beard with his chest.
  3. Has it been hot enough to make Three Inches of Pain into Three and a Half Inches of Pain? Cite your evidence.
  4. Has Tap Dat Ass made a proper down down? Why or why not?
  5. Is the GZH3 better off with Thumbleprints back in Malaysia? Why or why not?
  6. How’s Papa San’s English? What are your reasons for choosing this answer?
  7. Make a prediction: Will Hunkaspunk pass out at Mango Bar this evening? Why or why not?
  8. Has Bollyboob’s Wechat shitposting translated well to being funny in the circle? Please explain.

What: GZH3 Run #1,435 – The Semester Two Final Project Hash
When: Saturday, May 27th, 2017. Meet at 1:00 PM SHARP!
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin MTR – Exit B
Teachers…err Hares: Cum Cannon and Scratch & Sniff

But wait, wait there’s more…

Silver Bullet – with the help of Womb Raider – has taken a break working for the Trump Administration to bring us another GZ Metro Hash! This will be your last chance to see Silver Bullet in action before she goes back home to the great state of Pennsylvania (helped secure Trump’s victory…coincidence…I THINK NOT!). She’s got big…no, BIG plans to further her education for the benefit of the Trump Administration. She – like President Trump – is going to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN. So, please cum out to the GZH3 Metro Hash and tell her how SAD you are about her impending departure from the Middle Kingdom.

What: GZH3 Metro Hash #6 – Silver Bullet is Leaving??! #SAD
When: Tuesday, May 30th, 2017. Meet at 1:00 PM SHARP!
Where: Gaotangshi MTR – Exit A
Hares: Silver Bullet and Womb Raider

ON ON!

Scratch ‘N Sniff