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2013

#1219 – Furry Thing’s and Ezi 2 Lay’s Fuck-Off Hash

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As you know…

The past couple weeks have had smaller turnout then what we’ve come to expect in 2013 on the greatest hash on the planet. Our Hash Cash called our GM into the back room at Mango to inspect the coffers and explained that we were dangerously close to not making a profit for the first time since China’s opening up in the 80s. Thumbleprints implored 00 Dirk to make whatever changes were necessary to get the hash numbers back up because this phenomenon is obviously unrelated to working weekends or poor weather conditions.

00 Dirk came up with a plan that would attract hashers, old and new, from all over the world to attend this weekend’s hash, thus restoring the prestige and financial security of the hash to pre-June levels. His plan is so flawless, so foolproof, so fantastic that he went so far as to guarantee that this Saturday’s hash fee would remain at the low price of 50RMB. For most non-Mismanagement, the savvy plan he outlined is too difficult to understand (also because it was in slurred German) but here were the finer points for you to know why this weekend will be the best hash ever:

 

  1. 00 Dirk and Furry Thing, Faceplant. Enough Said.
  2. Joining the ranks, Ezi 2 Lei will also be haring, and he is coming off a hot streak of 18 accusations in last week’s circle, two of which he remembered songs for.
  3. Approximately 30% of the trail will be virgin, the other 70% looks different than it did before.
  4. Most importantly, you will never have another opportunity to give Ezi2Lei a down-down in Guangzhou.
  5. Finally, Furry Thing is fucking off as well, and there’s few better reasons to celebrate than getting rid of some furry, drunk asshole.

 

What: Another Fuck-Off Run

When: Saturday, June 22, 1:30 pm

Where: Mango Bar

Who: Ezi2Lei, Furry Thing, 00Dirk

 

On On,

The Hares

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