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2020

Run #1602: ‘The Bent End Hash’

Ladies and ‘gentlemen’ of the Guangzhou Hash, as you know this weeks hares are two of the more refined and sophisticated members of GZH3 – their trail, however, is not!  Ladies – are you sick and tired of having to deal with a drunk, floppy, unable to perform boyfriend on a Saturday night?  Fear not, for this week the hares have found enough treasures on trail to have you fully satisfied before you reach the beer stop so that you won’t even notice how inept your BF is becoming, although it may make you question why you are with him in the first place.  
 
Hares: Womb Raider and Pooper Scooper
When: Saturday, July 11th, 1:00pm meet, 1:30pm OnOn
Where: Mango Bar, Taojin Metro Line 5 Exit B
Cost: 130RMB adults, 65RMB kids, 0 babies
Bring: TORCH!!! Swim wear, shiggy socks, mosquito repellent, change of clothes, virgin

Categories
2020 Full Moon Hash

GZ Full Moon Hash #169: ‘CvC fuck-off episode 3’

Hares: Hunkaspunk and Count von Cunt
When: Wednesday, July 8th, 7:00pm meet, 7:30pm OnOn
Where: Dongshankou, exit C
Bring: TORCH!!! Mask,Change of clothes, shoes, money to split dinner costs (carry what you bring)

Categories
2020

Run #1600: ‘The Wet, Hot, American Summer Hash’

What: Run #1600 – The Wet, Hot, American Summer Hash
Hares: 3-inches of Pain & Turtlehead
When: July 4th – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Mango Bar at Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash including BUS & DINNER!!!
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.

Categories
2020

Run #1601: ‘The Pandamoanium Fuckoff Hash’

Ladies & “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

Pandamoanium already fucked off from us once, but he realized that Qingdao wasn’t as hashgasmic as Guangzhou. He was planning on staying for a long and hard time until last week’s trail left him nearly dead, and Shoeless Ho asking his wife if she was pregnant again left him without permission to cum. His experience was so bad he’s decided to go back to home where the tallest hash climb he’ll ever face is to the 2nd floor weed dispensary.

So, we have the Pandamoanium Fuckoff Hash. The best part? No Pandamoanium!

But there will be beer, there will be a “trail,” and there will be wetness.

On On!

What: GZH3 Run #1601: ‘The Pandamoanium Fuckoff Hash’
Hares: Not Pandamoanium
When: June 27th – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Mango Bar at Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash including BUS & DINNER!!!
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.

Categories
2020

Run #1599: ‘The Desperate Pull Out Hash’

Ladies and ‘gentlemen’ of the Guangzhou Hash House Harriers,

There is unrest in the Hash Mismanagement. Several virgins have declared their intentions to stop running the trails, sitting on the bus and drinking instead.

This separatist movement, under the leadership of the Count von Cunt, has made it difficult for the limited number of bucket wranglers to maintain an appropriate amount of blue cans.

Lost Sausage, the former Hareraiser, is returning to Mango Bar to find some unused flour in the lockers setting another BEST trail ever to assist the overwhelmed beermeister…

What: GZH3 Run #1599: ‘The Desperate Pull Out Hash’ A Romanian Fuck Off Saga: Episode 2
Hares: Count von Cunt & Lost Sausage
When: June 20th – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Mango Bar at Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash including BUS & DINNER!!!
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.

Categories
2020

Run #1597: ‘The 66 Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
 
The past week has seen the 6.6 Hash and the 6.9 Full Moon Hash, which both make sense based on the dates on which they were run. The 77 Hash however (much like this week’s hares usual trails) makes absolutely no fucking sense (much like this week’s hares usual trails). Instead of trying to wrap your already-deficient brains around this quantitative quandary, let’s examine the evidence.
 
Here’s what we do know about the number 77:
 

  • the length of this week’s trail. This is purely a filthy lie, but not unprecedented, as hashers telling hariettes about their length being 7.7 is also a lie that can be heard at most GZ hashes.
  • the jersey number of Ray Bourque – a great NHL defensemen who also exceeded the average number of teeth of his fellow French-Canadiens (7.7).

-the percentage of virginity in this week’s trail, with an additional 23% of virginity likely.

-the number of candles on Everready’s birthday cake next February. @Pearl – 杰威海外教育 

  • the number of virgins Three Inches will receive from the Hash Gods after setting this trail. Depending on his level of fuck-uppery, though, it could either be
    77 beautiful, voluptuous maidens or 77 Star Trek convention-goers. (No offense, @Surprise On The Thighs)
  • the visual/figurative representation of Just Jonas and Just Matt as they hold each other so tenderly, assuring and comforting one another that they’ll someday receive a hash name. Ahhhh, someday…

On On!
-Three Inches of Pain
 
What: GZH3 Run #1597 – The 66 Hash
Hare: Three Inches of Pain
When: June 13 – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Gold Mango Bar – 100m west of Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash includes BUS, FREE FLOW DRINKS, and DINNER
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.

Categories
2020 Full Moon Hash

GZ Full Moon Hash #168: The 69 Hash

Ladies & “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Full Moon Hash,

Last Saturday was the 66 Hash, next Saturday is the 77 Hash, so it only makes sense that Tuesday is the 69 hash! Lick your lips and assume the position at Mango Bar this Tuesday!

What: GZ Full Moon Hash #168: The 69 Hash
Hares: Canoodle My Noodle & Three Inches of Pain
When: Tuesday 6.9, 7:00pm meet, 7:30pm OnOn
Where: Mango Bar, Taojin Metro Exit B
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes, money to split dinner costs (carry what you bring)

Categories
2020

Run #1597 – ‘The 66 Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
 
This week’s hash falls on the date of 6/6, which figuratively looks like a Harriette who couldn’t stand the smell of going down on her hasher via 69, couldn’t bear his breath after the bash, and just decided to turn away in bed and let him do his business while she Googled, “why does my man always have a stank about him after hashing?”
 
But enough about Pig Magnet’s personal life…
 
This week is the 66 Hash and next week is the 77 Hash. What does that mean, you ask? The answer is simple: nobody fucking knows! What we do know is this:
 
-6.6km is the approximate length of the trail, with a margin of error of about 8km. If you do 14.6km, good for you! If you do -1.4km, please inform the Hash Cash about which tech stocks are going to be hot in 2030 after you return from your time-bending wormhole.
 
-6.6 beers are rationed on average for each paid hasher. If (no, when) you bring virgins this week, make sure they’re the “I’m college student-I come practice my Engersh-drink 1 Co-Cola” type virgins to increase the quantity of said ration.
 
-6.6 is the average hotness rating of a GZH3 Harriette. Some of you outliers are doing well to pull this average up (among other things), while there’s a good number of you dragging this number down like 99 lead balloons. Drink up, boys!
 
With any luck, you’ll run 6.6, drink greater than or equal to 6.6, and go home with a 6.6 on 6/6 after the 66 Hash.
 
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain
 
What: GZH3 Run #1597 – The 66 Hash
Hares: Hunkaspunk & Lil’ Spunk
When: June 6 – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Gold Mango Bar – 100m west of Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash includes BUS, FREE FLOW DRINKS, and DINNER
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.

Categories
2020

Run #1596: ‘The Whodunnit Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

In a dastardly display of callous ineptitude, Hiking Club has been caught white-handed, setting what could be known only as the biggest fuckup ever. As of yet, she refuses to name her cohare. Fortunately, the daring detectives of Mismanagement have several suspects in mind.
Could her accomplice be the front running conundrum widely known as German-man-who-doesn’t-know-the-way?
Or might her accomplice be those baby-stealing femme fatales, Baby Twat and Gigi the pirate (of uteruses).
Or could it be the oft-caught and forced to sit the trial of ice, the big boss of the hash underworld, Marky “No Soap” Magee?
Cum Saturday to find out if Hiking Club snitches on her partner.

Onon!
The hare(s)?

What: Guangzhou Hash Run #1596: ‘The Whodunnit Hash’
Hares: Hiking Club +?
When: May 30 – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The MANGO BAR at Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash including BUS & DINNER
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.

Categories
2020

Run #1595: ‘The Unexpected Pull Out Hash’

Ladies and Gentlemen of GZ Hash,

Turmoil has engulfed the Guangzhou Hash House Harriers. The taxation of bus routes to outlying B points is in dispute.
Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of temperature checks and suikang scans, the needy Bao An Federation has stopped all trail entries to the small region of laogang.

The GM has secretly dispatched two hares, the guardians of flour and beer, to set a final trail…

The Unexpected Pull Out Hash – A Romanian Fuck Off Saga: Episode 1

Hares: Count von Cunt & Lost Sausage
When: May 23rd – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The MANGO BAR at Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash including BUS & DINNER
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.