Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
When the brave Hares were scouting the deep jungle terrain of Guangzhou this past week, they channeled their inner Tom Cruise. On a mission from the ghost of former President Lyndon B. Johnson himself, they slashed through the jungle with their machetes, got bombarded with relentless shiggy, searched for the location of the best beer stop of 2015, and liberated the poor, downtrodden virgin trail from her communist captors. Victory came at a steep price: our brave Hares were bruised, bloodied, and nearly wheelchair bound by the end.
Now it is up to you, fellow Hashers, to relive the Battle for the Guangzhou Virgin Trail and come celebrate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence with your favorite American Hashers. During this battle, we can promise honor, glory, and the satisfaction that the communist sphere of influence will not hold sway on our soon to be defloured virgin trail. America…Fuck Yeah!
When: Saturday, June 27th, 2015
Where: Gold Mango Bar, Taojin MTR Exit B
Hares: Three Inches of Pain, Turtle Head, Scratch ‘N Sniff, and Itchy Britches
What: Uncle Sam Wants You!
P.S. Be prepared to bring shaggy socks.