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2013

#1213 & 1214 – The Kiwi Fuck-Off Hashes

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
 
What may be received by many sexually unsatisfied sheep in NZ as joyous news means to us nothing else but that finally the time has come to say farewell to two of the most outstanding hashers in the nearly 30 years long history of the Guangzhou Hash. These two have not only hared more runs than any other currently active hasher, but combined also served our distinguished group as Grand Master, Assistant Grand Master, Religious Advisor, Haberdash, Harerazor, stand-in Hash Cash, and will certainly also be remembered by many of you as their name givers. Yes, sadly it’s true: The Kiwis have finally decided to exchange a harmonious society and civilization for clean air, and sheep-filled pastures of their native Hobbit land. 
 
But before we even start to waste a single thought on how to fill the gap Globetwatter and Sir Cum are going to leave behind, and whether it is at all possible to remain the “Best Hash in China” without their unfailing dedication to the Guangzhou Hash, we should rather focus on how we are going to send them off in style. The mismanagement has therefore decided to honor the Kiwis with a fuck-off weekend hash in Yingde, near Qingyuan. As of now, this place is also widely referred to as the ‘better Yangshuo’, because the landscape is at least as beautiful as the one in Yangshuo, but it hardly gets any tourists. (Check out the hash flash on our website and click run 1161/62 to see pictures from our last trip to the better Yangshuo.)
 
It goes without saying that such a major event draws great attention from all around the hash globe, and many veterans have already announced to fly into GZ to join the party. In fact, the number of participants is rising as we speak (or read this). Therefore, we will send two buses up to the run site, one on Friday evening, and the other one on Saturday morning.
 
And this is what you get for only 350 RMB:
 
2 great fun rides on the hash bus, one to Yingde, and one back to GZ on Sunday afternoon. And yes, we’ll pay the toll fees and take the freeway in order to minimize the number of pee stops.
1 in more than one way breath-taking trail on Saturday
1 flawless hangover hash on Sunday
Cold beer and softies throughout the weekend
Dinner on Saturday
Maybe some kind of breakfast on Sunday. Maybe.
But definitely lunch on Sunday
Saturday night in a standard double bed room at an infamous Hash Hotel, in pinyin called the supei fan heshi haosi binguan
2 great hash T-shirts, designed by two legendary hash shirt designers
 
This offer stands until the first 66 hashers have signed up and paid. After that, the price will go up to 400 RMB. So don’t hesitate and register on any of the cuming Saturdays at the Gold Mango Bar before the regular hash.
 
If you want to go on Friday the price is still 350 RMB, but you have to pay for the Friday food and accommodation by yourself. We just provide the early transportation and the fun, i.e. a bucket full of ice cold beer.
 
When:  Friday, May 24, 2013 @ 6 PM or
Saturday, May 25, 2013 @ 10 AM until
Sunday, May 26, 2013, in the late afternoon

For our date-challenged hashers: this is in about a month from now
Where: Gold Mango Bar to Yingde
What: The Kiwis Fuck Off Hash
Hares: Globetwatter, Sir Cum, Thumbleprints, Circle Jerk, Furry Thing, Gorf
What else: Make sure you’ll pay up ASAP
 

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