#1216 – The NextGen Hash

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,


During the Fuck-Off Hash Frenzy for the two Kiwis last weekend a lot of hashers were wondering whether the GZH3 will ever be able to find successors for Globetwatter as our AssGM and Sir Cum as our Religious Advisor. They argued that no one on the Hash would have feet big enough to fill the shoes these two fine hashers are going to leave behind. Needless to say I looked a bit closer at Globetwatter’s and Sir Cum’s feet during the circle on Sunday. Indeed, they are of delicately impressive proportions and it will probably be very difficult for anyone to match them. But as the old and wise say, nothing has to be impossible!


Do you know anyone with large feet? Look at your own. If they aren’t big enough yet, are they maybe still going to grow to RA or AssGM size?

If the AssGM or RA shoes are still a few sizes too big for you to fill, don’t give up hope. We are also looking for dedicated mismanagers right now to fill other positions. If you would like to do more stuff for the Hash, please let me know. Against common belief we do welcum more Chinese hashers on the mismanagement team. It is not that we don’t want you, but rather that you seem to have another – maybe a real? – life in Guangzhou. However, Chinese hashers are underrepresented on the mismanagement, so if you want to shape the Hash a bit more according to your ideas, cum out of the closet.


The bigger challenge for our Hash is another. I believe that the high quality of GZH3 trails is the main reason why we get 70+ people every week. If we want to maintain this number and with it the convenience of having two buses, we need to make sure the hashers cum back. Hence, we urgently need more qualified hares to fill the haring gap which the two Kiwis and also Furry Thing will leave behind in just a few weeks from now.

One way to tackle this problem is to organize one to two scouting trips per month. The idea is to rent a minibus on Sunday mornings and fill it with 8 or 12 people and then drive out to a large enough run site where the scouting parties can split up and look for trails. Experienced hares will take virgin hares by the hand.

Interested in becuming a NextGen hare? If yes, talk to Constipation or me. If this becums a success we will make it a regular thing. Our Hash Cash is willing to pay for the scouting bus if the hares in return won’t claim the money for the flour from her!

Let’s make sure that we will always have great trails in the future. I for one want to run on China’s Best Hash and not on the Guangzhou Shitty Trail Hash.


Two ambitious young hares have already stepped forward to defend the honor of the NextGen hares. During an emotional hash press conference at the Mango very late last night they announced that they will set an orgasmic hash, an unparalleled masterpiece during which completely new experiences* shall be made. They even had the guts to claim that their trail could easily compare with a typical Kiwi run. How dare they say that? Is it because they have a big mouth? Or is it maybe because they got pretty big feet already? Make up your own mind.


When: Saturday, June 1, 2013 @ 1.30 PM

Where: Gold Mango Bar

Who: Circle Jerk and Muffdiver

What: The NextGen Hash


On On,


*see attachment

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