Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
I received complaints that recent hashvertisements were too long and some of the content wasn’t really that important. Some even had the audacity to claim that most hashvertisements weren’t even remotely related to Hash affairs at all. Therefore, in this week’s summary of last night’s hash press conference I will only mention the most important developments in a nutshell.
Last week’s torrential rain falls raised concerns whether our Religious Advisor still has the great “guanxi” with the local weather gods that he is always bragging about, or whether his magical powers are finally wearing off. He claims that he got tired of being called Mr. Sunshine and wanted to prove to us that he can also do rain and thunderstorm. If this is in fact so, it worked out as he’d intended to. However, the mismanagement wasn’t overly impressed by his argumentation. Hence, he got suspended from his regular religious advising duties for one week; we even recommended him to stay the hells away from the hash on Saturday and get his head straightened out. Instead, our stand-in RA Shoeless Ho will show us how godly his network is.
Modesty, just like honesty, is generally being considered a massive drawback in hares. That’s probably why the pack was speechless when these dare-devils of hares publicly admitted that their trail on Saturday wouldn’t be the Best Hash Ever, even though the beer stop is said to be outstanding and the B-point at the Best Circle Spot Ever. However, according to the hares most people will find the trail to be too short and too flat this Saturday.
‘It’s true, the three of us have set better trails in previous years,’ one of the hares explained. ‘On Saturday, we will therefore not set the Best Hash Ever but only the Best Hash of the Year. Unless, of course, we are going to set an even better trail in the months to cum. Anyway, the award will be ours.’
I applaud the hares for their modesty.
When: Saturday, May 3, 2014 @ 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
Hares: Himalaya, Circle Jerk, 00
What: Best Hash of the Year