Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Nobody knows for sure, although a lot of people claim that it’s been caused by opinion leaders such as the Internet or drinking clubs with running problems. But whomever it is to blame – the spread of gullibility is inevitable. Formerly known as the “Protection Disease*” it has now penetrated all walks of life, and hasn’t even stopped at the gate of the Mango Bar. Only very few hashers have ever seen the young and charming Ms. Mi Tuhai from the Health Department in such an emotional state as last night at the Hash Press Conference or, for that matter, seen her at all.
‘It’s very shameful for me to admit it, but I see no other way than to come out of the closet, so to speak, and to share my story with the world. My husband has been suffering from a very severe case of the gullibilities for many years now,’ she said weepingly, making the crowd at the Mango Bar wonder where her husband thought she was hanging out on Wednesday nights**. ‘My only hope for him now lies with the ground-breaking rehabilitation program that the Guangzhou Hash has developed to cure all people who have been cursed with this malicious disease.’
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash, this is true. In order to defend our ridiculously low run fee of 50 RMB*** against the rising tide of inflation the mismanagement has been looking into alternative ways to raise money to fund the hashtivities**** while saving humanity at the same time. The result is a revolutionary medical course against gullibility. If you are suffering from gullibility, then now is the time for you to rejoice. Salvation is just around the corner*****.
Where: Gold Mango Bar
When: Saturday, September 13, 2014 @ 1.30 PM
What: 50 RMB for the run
What else: another 250 RMB if you wish to get cured from gullibility. Pay upfront******.
Hares: Constipation & Hunkaspunk
On a different note, the hares announced that they are going to set the Best Hash Ever with virgin trails through steamy rain forests where chocolate is growing on trees and rivers are made of ice-cold beer, and then along high alpine ridges where mountain spirits will enlighten you about the meaning of life and teach you how to pursue true happiness, and, of course, climaxing with a fancy swim spot at the B-point. Well, I don’t know about you, but I am really looking forward to the chocolate*******.
*’He says he’s going to use protection!’
**Girl Scout Association.
***or 60 RMB for first timers on the Guangzhou Hash, but that buys them a posh beer can cooler, which can be used during both, summer and winter.
****which of course includes the provision of that juicy German beer with the unpronounceable name.
*****only if you live in Taojin
******this is absolutely vital for the long-term success of the medical course.
*******and for all those Mr. Know-It-Alls: Yes, the pun is intended, since I am fully aware that we are celebrating the “International Chocolate Day” on Saturday. I am not as ignorant as I pretend to be.