Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
The Christmas season* is upon us, and the Guangzhou Hash is bound and determined to discover whether you have been naughty or nice this year on Saturday’s hash. However, this can be difficult to to determine for many of us…
…perhaps you spent a week’s wages at Cave Bar one night, but also went backwards on a trail to mark a check for your fellow hashers…
…maybe you found the trail and didn’t yell “On-on” to give yourself a head start, but then later spent 10 minutes cleaning buckets and vessels at the Mango Bar…
…by chance, you might have sat your ass on the bus all day drinking so much Pocari that there was none left for the runners, but then later redeemed yourself by volunteering as a dray…**
Fear not, for the Guangzhou Hash has its own ways of determining whether you’ve been naughty or nice, as well as what “gift” you might receive. There may be some spankings administered by a harriette, possibly a quiz about whether Santa Claus exists***, and definitely some sitting on the GM’s lap to determine how nice you are…
As a gift, the hares have found the best Boxing Day trail of 2015! Hello Sailor has left his home port of Dafushan and, despite being out of his familiar seas, he promised to have found numerous steps and hand rails during the GZH3 press conference at the Mango Bar on Wednesday night. However, your other gifts will depend on how well you pass/fail the naughty/nice tests. Maybe you’ll find yourself in some dense jungle undergrowth filled with mosquitoes?**** Perhaps you’ll be the lucky hasher who finds a looong uphill false trail at the bottom of your hash stocking? Maybe some delicious, hot mulled wine at a beer stop???????????
Bring all of your nice…and a little bit of your naughty….to the Mango Bar for the best last hash of 2015!
* “Holiday” season for us politically-correct Americans.
** Actually, there is no redemption for riding the bus and drinking up the Pocari. You are an asshole.
***The answer is “Yes.” Little Semen has likely hared more than you have this year, so his opinion takes precedence over yours, you jaded, uninspired grinch.
****Hint, hint. Bring your repellent if you need it.
What: GZH3 Run #1355: The Naughty & Nice Hash
Hares: Hello Sailor & Little Semen
When: Saturday, December 26, 1:00PM sharp!
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exit B
–Three Inches of Pain