#1430 The News Hour Hash

Best hash ever: GZH3 launches trail strikes in response to ‘shitty trail’

Three Inches of Pain, GZH3

19 May 2017 (Updated 13:21 GMT)
MANGO BAR, The China – The Guangzhou Hash, in coalition with the US State Department, has carried out a flour strike against a Guangzhou forest area in response to a suspected chemical attack perpetrated by a local Syrian hasher.
Fifty-nine Tomahawk cruise checkpoints were fired from two GZH3 hares in the area known as Longdong Forest Park. At least six people are reported to have been killed.

It is the first direct GZH3 action against forces commanded by former Harerazor Cum Cannon, who is rumored to have been recently collaborating with rogue actors such as Womb Raider and Scratch-n-Sniff to set shitty hash trails.

It comes just days after dozens of civilians, including many children, died in the suspected gas attack in the area of Wanshangwei in Guangdong province. Unnamed Dutch and Australian agents are suspected for their involvement following a weekly BBQ strike.

Echoing statements by White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, The Silver Bullet issued a statement late Wedneday evening at the Mar-a-lango Bar: “In his last hash, Syrian hasher Cum Cannon launched a horrible hash trail on innocent hashers. Using a deadly false trail, he choked out the lives of thirsty hashers, harriettes, and children. It was a slow and brutal trail for so many. Even beautiful virgins were cruelly deprived of beer in this very barbaric trail. No child of The Hash should ever suffer such horror.”

In an unprecedented show of force, the Mismanagement of the Guangzhou Hash and the Department of State have authorized continued joint exercises to be led by The Silver Bullet in attempt to impede any upcumming shitty trails planned by Cum Cannon.

The Kremlin, which backs short and boring trails and awful alcohol, has condemned the strike.

What: GZH3 Run #1430 – The News Hour Hash
When: Saturday, April 22nd. Meet at 1:00PM SHARP!
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B at NOON (Line 5)
Hares: Cum Cannon & The Silver Bullet
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain

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