Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
Having received dozens of WeChat wishes of ‘Happy New Year!’ from assholes you haven’t spoken to in months, you probably know the infamously long and hard Year of the Cock is spent, limp, flaccid, and finished. In its place cums the equally appropriate Year of the Dog, an auspicious year for the Guangzhou Hash…
Beginning tomorrow in the Year of the Dog, you can expect the old dogs of the Hash to be sniffing around Cave Bar and Kama Club with an enhanced urging, for the Guangzhou kennel to set longer/harder/better trails, for Red Rocket to add more hashers and harriettes to his list of victims*, and for this Saturday only…a 30th birthday bash!
Usher in the Year of the Dog with a birthday bash for the biggest dog of them all – they say he’s an English Mastiff on the trail but the hariettes say he’s a Yorkshire Terrier in bed: Hippie Hunter!
On On Saturday for what will surely be the greatest Year of the Dog Hash in 12 years!
* – Lawyers for Constipation, Tap Dat Ass, and numerous attendees of the 2015 All-China Nash Hash have reached out to the Guangzhou Hash regarding alleged claims of sexual misconduct by Red Rocket from the years 2013 – 2018. The Guangzhou Hash has no comment at this time besides #metoodadou
What: GZH3 Run #1,475: The Year of the Dog Hash -&- Hippie Hunter’s 30th Birthday Bash
When: February 17th – 1:00PM SHARP!
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Hares: Hippie Hunter, Turtlehead, & Three Inches of Pain
Bring: 50rmb for the Hash, 60rmb for dinner, change of clothes, drinking shoes.
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain