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Run #1483: ‘The Sweatin’ and Swimmin’ Hash’
Author: Pornstache
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GZH3 Run # 1481: The Birthday Brunch Hash
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GZH3 Run #1478: The Good for Healthy Hash
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Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
For the past 6 months and during his previous year-long internment in Canton, Hippie Hunter has becum one of the stalwart hares and degenerates of the Guangzhou Hash. Overcoming disastrous circumstances like a bum ankle, waking up on the curb outside the Strand most Saturday mornings, and receiving his haring tutelage from Hunkaspunk, Hippie has ascended through the ranks and is now known and trusted to set long, hard, and excellent trails on a nearly-weekly basis. He’s becum so well-known and revered for his trails that the Hashers of Guangzhou have cheered for Hippie Hunter to set runs in perpetuity – that he becum Hare-4-Lyfe!
However, unlike other positions of prestige in this great land, the Mismanagement of the Guangzhou Hash has recognized that appointing a ‘Hare-4-Lyfe’ brings with it some potentially-harmful consequences: there’s the chance that Hippie Hunter one day might accuse fellow hashers of short-cutting so that they sit on the ice in his stead; he could possibly change the trail rules so that he can never be caught while haring; and he might even exaggerate flour and taxi receipts so that his offspring might comfortably attend famous institutions of higher learning in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
With these unintended consequences in mind, the Mismanagement sees a motion to hereby banish Hippie Hunter from the Guangzhou Hash until he sets one more best trail ever, gives us mercy by getting his ass back to Merceyside, and finally finishes his degree instead of wallowing around with co-eds at SCNU.
Those in favour? Aye.
Those opposed? ***crickets***
Seeing one ‘aye’ and none opposed, this motion unanimously passes. Fuck off you wank.
What: GZH3 Run #1477: The Term Limit & Hippie Hunter Fuckoff Hash
When: March 3rd – 1:00PM SHARP!
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Hares: Hippie Hunter, Three Inches of Pain, & VIRGIN HARE Just Gustina
Bring: 50rmb for the Hash, 60rmb for dinner, and a farewell ‘tribute’ to HH.
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain
Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
Having received dozens of WeChat wishes of ‘Happy New Year!’ from assholes you haven’t spoken to in months, you probably know the infamously long and hard Year of the Cock is spent, limp, flaccid, and finished. In its place cums the equally appropriate Year of the Dog, an auspicious year for the Guangzhou Hash…
Beginning tomorrow in the Year of the Dog, you can expect the old dogs of the Hash to be sniffing around Cave Bar and Kama Club with an enhanced urging, for the Guangzhou kennel to set longer/harder/better trails, for Red Rocket to add more hashers and harriettes to his list of victims*, and for this Saturday only…a 30th birthday bash!
Usher in the Year of the Dog with a birthday bash for the biggest dog of them all – they say he’s an English Mastiff on the trail but the hariettes say he’s a Yorkshire Terrier in bed: Hippie Hunter!
On On Saturday for what will surely be the greatest Year of the Dog Hash in 12 years!
* – Lawyers for Constipation, Tap Dat Ass, and numerous attendees of the 2015 All-China Nash Hash have reached out to the Guangzhou Hash regarding alleged claims of sexual misconduct by Red Rocket from the years 2013 – 2018. The Guangzhou Hash has no comment at this time besides #metoodadou
What: GZH3 Run #1,475: The Year of the Dog Hash -&- Hippie Hunter’s 30th Birthday Bash
When: February 17th – 1:00PM SHARP!
Where: The Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Hares: Hippie Hunter, Turtlehead, & Three Inches of Pain
Bring: 50rmb for the Hash, 60rmb for dinner, change of clothes, drinking shoes.
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain
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GZH3 Run # 1473: The Chemical Warfare Hash
