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2014

#1256 Sleeping Beauty’s and Crappuchino’s Fuck-Off Hash

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,

Once upon a time a confused spark of inspiration kissed awake a Sleeping Beauty and told him to get his ass out of bed and on a quest to pursue happiness. Shortly after, still barely able to see through squinted eyes, Sleeping Beauty stumbled into the Gold Mango Bar. He somehow made it onto the bus and through trail and circle, and ever since he was convinced that the Hash was his best shot at pursuing what he so dearly desired. He became a dedicated hasher, hare and dray, but eventually he sat down to think. He thought deep and he thought deeper*, until one day – yesterday – when he accidentally got struck by a foreign epiphany that’s currently in Guangzhou from Southern Europe as part of a cultural exchange program.

‘I’ve got it wrong all along’ exclaimed a distressed Sleeping Beauty while relentlessly slapping his palm against his forehead, ‘but I can see it now, the whole godsdamn truth. The Hash is a place of spiritual awakening where one learns to outshine oneself, and where one gets one’s head straightened out to get ready for new adventures. It is an essential milestone on the way to happiness, but it is not the place where happiness – at least not the ultimate happiness I am seeking – can be pursued**. To find that one has to move on, far away, to a place that listens to the name of Italy… Oh, Lords, it’s so obvious, I am an Italian. I know it with all my heart.’

After this moving revelation the mismanagement rendered the following verdict. Sleeping Beauty has to outshine himself one more time by haring another breath-taking trail for our distinguished Guangzhou Hash. In return, the mismanagement will grant him to live happily ever after.

 

When:                    Saturday, February 22, 2014 @ 1 PM

Where:                   Gold Mango Bar

Who:                      Sleeping Beauty & flour bitch 00

What:                     The Brazitalian Hash

 

Food for thought:

-Sleeping Beauty has hared three times in the last 8 weeks. We need new hares to compensate for the ongoing dreadful hare drainage.

-Sleeping Beauty has almost made me forget how to appoint volunteers as drays. Almost.

-Think up good down downs for Sleeping Beauty. It’s the last chance you’ll get to get him drunk.

On On,

00

*Right at the bar of the Gold Mango. ‘How convenient’ you may say, and I would somewhat agree with you.

**The mismanagement of the Guangzhou Hash would like to emphasize that this is an isolated opinion of a single individual only. In case you are into this sort of thing, the Guangzhou Hash is without the shred of a doubt the one place to find ultimate happiness. Claiming anything else is highly misleading and in the best case grossly negligent.

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