Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
I am often being accused of standing in the way of change and of clinging on to GZH3 traditions too much. This is completely wrong. In fact, I like to see myself as the most revolutionary Grand Master of the Guangzhou Hash ever. To remind you of my achievements:
Already during my very first mismanagement meeting I suggested to replace the blue night pots with different vessels. Ok, everyone else on the mismanagement team voted against me*, but I think this episode is exemplary for my early revolutionary spirit. Later on I experimented with ’Swing Low’ and the reason why we switched back to always singing the original version is because it is by far the best one. I also changed the meeting and bus departure time despite fierce resistance from the influential sleep-in faction on the Guangzhou Hash. I admit, the time has been revised recently, but I am not giving up the fight, I merely put it on hold. I am optimistic that sometime later this year another window of opportunity might open to re-revise it. I also successfully introduced a bus load of songs to the GZH3 circle. Well, if you must ask, only one finally stuck, the good old ‘Flat Chested’, but that is a very traditional hash song. And has anyone heard ‘Alouette’ recently? No? Me neither, not since Furry Thing and Swinging Tits left us. That was a good GZH3 tradition that we let vanish, wasn’t it? That’s why I asked the mismanagement for permission to revive ‘Alouette’ during the next few weeks. If this is not truly revolutionary then I don’t know what revolu-… What? To revive a lost tradition isn’t revolutionary? Quite the contrary, you say? Damn, do all my achievements really just boil down to ‘Flat Chested’ then? Not even to that one??? Am I in reality a traditionalist? No, that can’t be true. I’d rather live in conscious denial than to accept that. So, in order to reassure myself that the GZH3 under my Grand Mastership is open to change* we are going to introduce an entirely new and truly revolutionary haring concept to our hash.
And this is how it works: The mismanagement will purchase enough flour for a decent trail and give it to the first two hashers who volunteer to set an instant hash. When the Harerazor picks the volunteers he will probably look out for good runners. Strictly no excuses accepted, so be prepared.
When: Saturday, April 5, 2014 @ 1.30 PM
Where: Gold Mango Bar
*A lot of people asked me why I am not just getting a second opinion. To tell the truth, I am not a big fan of second opinions because they mess with my mind. However, I fear I cannot escape from one this Saturday. Our distinguished GZH3 Life Member** Soggy Biscuit is in town and he will certainly share his view on this topic, whether I like it or not.
**What is a Life Member and how can I become one? Well, strictly speaking Life Members are free loaders. They run for free. You can get one by haring at least 100 GZH3 runs and then moving away from Guangzhou. It’s extremely exclusive.