Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
Recently, the GZH3 Mismanagement team has done some extensive astronomical and historical research to find significant evidence suggesting that Run #1354 will be the penultimate GZH3 run for 2015 (For our Chinese and Australian friends, “penultimate” means “second-to-last”).
Using complicated formulas and theorems derived from studies of Mayan ruins and data collected from the recent large hadron collider test at CERN, the Mismanagement announced some other penultimate predictions during the weekly Guangzhou Hash press conference at Mango Bar late Wednesday night…
Cum Cannon & Chaofan’s trail from last month will be the penultimate trail fuckup of 2015. (not their fault, fyi…)
Double-00 will be Angry Dragon’s penultimate lover on the GZ Hash this year.
December 11th will be Hunkaspunk’s penultimate shower for 2015.
The Mystery Twat will be Forget-Me-Twat’s penultimate post-Hash female encounter.
Little Semen will be the penultimate spawn of Hello Sailor! and Land Ho!
February 25th was the penultimate time our Loneliest Hasher got laid in 2015, with February 26th sadly being the ultimate time.
Yesterday was the penultimate agreement between the US and Russia on how best to carve up Syria and make sure it stays fucked for a while longer.
Last Saturday/Sunday will be the penultimate time the GZH3 closes down 3 different bars in the same night. (anybody up for a Lazy Guys/Mango/Cave trifecta???)
Bring yourself, bring a virgin, and most importantly bring 50rmb to view our research for yourself and join what will surely be the penultimate Best Hash Ever of 2015!
What: Guangzhou Hash Run #1354: The Penultimate Hash
Hares: Gorf & Turtlehead
Where: Gold Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exit B
When: Saturday, December 19, 2015 – 1:00 PM
Cheers and On On!
Three Inches of Pain