Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash…
Cumming this weekend is that most-dreaded of “holidays” where you’re expected to spend an hourly wage on chocolates, a day’s work on flowers, a week’s pay on dinner, and a month’s salary on jewelry – all in hopes of 2 minutes of pleasure at the end of it all. Rest assured, dearest Hashers, the Guangzhou Hash saves the day once more with an alternative Valentine’s Day for you and your loved one*.
For just 50rmb, you can cancel that quiet, romantic limousine in favor of a hash bus that comes with live music at the end of the night. For that same small price, get rid of your fancy dinner reservations and dine in a rustic, authentic Cantonese restaurant**. And don’t forget, you can toss the champagne because, as always, there are bottomless buckets of cold beer awaiting you and that special someone of yours.
Best of all, the featured entertainment for the best Valentine’s weekend of your life*** is none other than the HareRazor of the Guangzhou Hash deflouring yet another virgin along the slopes of Maofengshan. Confirmation of their Valentine’s Day connection is still pending, but don’t be suprised if one is trying to marry the other in hopes of gaining citizenship****.
Cum Saturday with your better half (and maybe bring a virgin along for some extra fun) and WEAR RED OR PINK and get yourself in the mood at a cheaper price for those 2 minutes of glory later on Saturday evening*****.
* – Yes, Triple-X Ray, your hand counts as a loved one.
** – Perhaps too authentic…
*** – Except that time at the Cave Bar when you got your valentine for 700rmb after promising breakfast in the morning.
**** – TDA has always been trying to get his hands on Syrian citizenship.
***** – Added benefit: the beer extends your 2 minutes into a full hour of excuses and apologies.
What: GZH3 Run #1363: The Premature Valentine Hash – WEAR RED OR PINK
Hares: Cum Cannon & Virgin Hare Tap-Dat-Ass
When: Saturday, February 13 – 1:00 PM SHARP!
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exiit B
On On from Pondicherry…see you next week!
-Three Inches of Pain