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2016

#1366 – The Spoiled Hash

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,

As you know, most hashvertisements aren’t very different from any other press release, meaning that they always sound as if a hearing-impaired person noted down what a blind man reported to him, before edited by the moron on duty and finally shared with the entire internet community.

The unbiased author of this week’s hashvertisement however follows a very different and extremely rare journalistic concept, still known to some as ‘telling the truth’. Needless to say that such an unheard of approach inevitably calls for the raising of a massive spoiler alert. Hence, if you prefer not to know whether the upcumming hash will end happily or in tears, stop reading here and scroll directly down to the When, Where and Who section.

Under a beautifully blue sky two Adonis-like looking and extremely well-hung younglings, aka ‘the hares’, make their way out to a mesmerizingly beautiful land to preset the trail for this week’s hash. Of course, these two strong and enduring athletes with their well-shaped bodies are perfectly capable of haring live. However, they choose not to because they are on a mission. Their goal is to set nothing less but the Best Hash Ever, and possibly even the Best Hash of 2016. And they know that a preset run is always that little tad more perfect than any given perfect live trail!

That is why the trail is not too long and also not too short. It is of the right distance. It can get steep at times, but never too steep for people to plunge to their death. The hilly bits with the amazing views are taking perfectly timed turns with perfectly runnable stretches through mystical forests. The marking is flawless at all times.

In the circle the enthusiastic and sexually aroused pack will carry the visionary and intellectually superior hares on their shoulders and praise them as the ‘Best Hares Ever of the Best Hash Ever’, a claim they fully deserve. And later that night, when everybody is back at the Mango Bar, Tony will look as if he keeps a hanger in his mouth, so wide is his grin when he sees the hashers’ ongoing ganbei-ing to the fact that they have witnessed history in the making.

When: Saturday, March 5, 2016 @ 1 PM

Where: Gold Mango Bar

Who: Sleeping Beauty and 00

 

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