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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
Sergio Leone’s epic spaghetti western The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly follows three bounty hunters around the American West in search of a missing cache of Confederate gold during the Civil War. With its sweeping landscapes and iconic soundtrack, TGTB&TU is widely-considered to be the best western ever made, with many calling it the greatest cinematic triumph of all-time*.
Much like Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, and a superb Eli Wallach, this week’s trio of hares will set out to find Hash treasure, themselves. In search of virgin trails, streams that run gold with beer, and a B point with something other than tofu, these hares will do whatever it takes to find their Hashing fortune. Alliances will be made, friendships broken, and virgin cherries will be pounded as the hares bring the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly to the Guangzhou Hash…
The Good: Three Inches of Pain has promised two buses to arrive on time at Mango Bar, a beautifully-scenic trail, delicious beer at the B point, and a delightful circle punctuated by a wonderful meal afterward. Sounds like, sounds like…
The Bad: Cum Cannon will deliver some loooong and haaard false trails, give a cruel and demeaning down down to some witless girl in heels, and coldly kill anyone who stands between him and his German beer.
The Ugly: Pound-a-Cherry is going to bring 17 non-drinking virgins to witness him losing his haring virginity along the hallowed slopes of Maofengshan. Red Rocket has promised to make quick work of it, as he is turned on much more by Pound-a-Cherry than last week’s virgin hare**.
Saddle your steed, holster your .45, and mosey on down to the Mango Bar for this week’s greatest hash ever!
* If Tarantino says so – it’s the truth.
**Two weeks in a row – two virgin hares. Somebody get Red Rocket a cigarette.
***You may have noticed that the run numbers jumped from 1373 to 1375. This is because the hasher in charge of the Holy GZH3 Excel spreadsheet declared that the Friday run of the ACNH would count toward GZH3 run totals. Meh…whatever…this just means we get to celebrate the 1500th one week earlier in 2018.
What: GZH3 Run #1375: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Hash
Hares: Cum Cannon, Red Rocket, Three Inches of Pain, & VIRGIN HARE Pound-a-Cherry
When: Saturday, April 23rd, 1:00 PM SHARP!
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exit B
On On!
-Three Inches of Pain