Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
The past week has seen the 6.6 Hash and the 6.9 Full Moon Hash, which both make sense based on the dates on which they were run. The 77 Hash however (much like this week’s hares usual trails) makes absolutely no fucking sense (much like this week’s hares usual trails). Instead of trying to wrap your already-deficient brains around this quantitative quandary, let’s examine the evidence.
Here’s what we do know about the number 77:
- the length of this week’s trail. This is purely a filthy lie, but not unprecedented, as hashers telling hariettes about their length being 7.7 is also a lie that can be heard at most GZ hashes.
- the jersey number of Ray Bourque – a great NHL defensemen who also exceeded the average number of teeth of his fellow French-Canadiens (7.7).
-the percentage of virginity in this week’s trail, with an additional 23% of virginity likely.
-the number of candles on Everready’s birthday cake next February. @Pearl – 杰威海外教育
- the number of virgins Three Inches will receive from the Hash Gods after setting this trail. Depending on his level of fuck-uppery, though, it could either be
77 beautiful, voluptuous maidens or 77 Star Trek convention-goers. (No offense, @Surprise On The Thighs)
- the visual/figurative representation of Just Jonas and Just Matt as they hold each other so tenderly, assuring and comforting one another that they’ll someday receive a hash name. Ahhhh, someday…
-Three Inches of Pain
What: GZH3 Run #1597 – The 66 Hash
Hare: Three Inches of Pain
When: June 13 – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Gold Mango Bar – 100m west of Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash includes BUS, FREE FLOW DRINKS, and DINNER
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.