Author: Hunkaspunk

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

This week marks the last time Hiking Club will grace the Guangzhou Hash with one of her all-white explosions of flour in Longdong. Hiking Club has long sought to fuck off from her haring responsibilities but has been waiting for another similar individual to take her place. Someone with equally furrowed brows, perhaps a lone harriette with a comparable beer belly, and similarly hairy legs. In sum, she was looking for an equally Amazonian woman to take her place on the Guangzhou Hash hareline.

Fortunately, virgin hare, Just Gabriella has met all of the aforementioned standards to take the torch from Hiking Club as the token Amazonian woman on the Guangzhou Hash. The Louse-From-Manaus will assist Hiking Club in setting a less-than-virgin trail that is reminiscent of the Brazilian hariette’s hometown: Mosquitos, steep inclines, mud, thorns, bushwhacking and who could forget those little bugs that swarm your head and fly into your eyes. It’s going to be a long dong of a trail to a familiar B point.

There will be beer. There will be a pool. There may even be goose. Cum Saturday and find out if any of this is true.

What: GZH3# 1,604: The Save-the-Bush Trail
Hares: Hiking Club & Just Gabriella
When: Saturday, July 25th, 1:00pm meet, 1:30pm OnOn
Where: Mango Bar, Taojin Metro Line 5 Exit B
Cost: 130RMB adults, 65RMB kids, 0 babies
Bring: Swimsuit, snacks, mosquito repellent, change of clothes (and shoes), virgin

Ladies & “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

Pandamoanium already fucked off from us once, but he realized that Qingdao wasn’t as hashgasmic as Guangzhou. He was planning on staying for a long and hard time until last week’s trail left him nearly dead, and Shoeless Ho asking his wife if she was pregnant again left him without permission to cum. His experience was so bad he’s decided to go back to home where the tallest hash climb he’ll ever face is to the 2nd floor weed dispensary.

So, we have the Pandamoanium Fuckoff Hash. The best part? No Pandamoanium!

But there will be beer, there will be a “trail,” and there will be wetness.

On On!

What: GZH3 Run #1601: ‘The Pandamoanium Fuckoff Hash’
Hares: Not Pandamoanium
When: June 27th – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Mango Bar at Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash including BUS & DINNER!!!
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
 
The past week has seen the 6.6 Hash and the 6.9 Full Moon Hash, which both make sense based on the dates on which they were run. The 77 Hash however (much like this week’s hares usual trails) makes absolutely no fucking sense (much like this week’s hares usual trails). Instead of trying to wrap your already-deficient brains around this quantitative quandary, let’s examine the evidence.
 
Here’s what we do know about the number 77:
 

• the length of this week’s trail. This is purely a filthy lie, but not unprecedented, as hashers telling hariettes about their length being 7.7 is also a lie that can be heard at most GZ hashes.
• the jersey number of Ray Bourque – a great NHL defensemen who also exceeded the average number of teeth of his fellow French-Canadiens (7.7).

-the percentage of virginity in this week’s trail, with an additional 23% of virginity likely.

-the number of candles on Everready’s birthday cake next February. @Pearl – 杰威海外教育 

• the number of virgins Three Inches will receive from the Hash Gods after setting this trail. Depending on his level of fuck-uppery, though, it could either be
  77 beautiful, voluptuous maidens or 77 Star Trek convention-goers. (No offense, @Surprise On The Thighs)
• the visual/figurative representation of Just Jonas and Just Matt as they hold each other so tenderly, assuring and comforting one another that they’ll someday receive a hash name. Ahhhh, someday…

On On!
-Three Inches of Pain
 
What: GZH3 Run #1597 – The 66 Hash
Hare: Three Inches of Pain
When: June 13 – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: The Gold Mango Bar – 100m west of Taojin Metro Exit B
Price: 130RMB for adults, 65 for kids, free for babies that don’t drink 4 Coca-Colas during Hash includes BUS, FREE FLOW DRINKS, and DINNER
Bring: MASK REQUIRED ON BUS – NO EXCEPTIONS. Change of clothes/shoes, more than one virgin, Towel, Umbrella, VALID/UPDATED SUIKANG CODE.