Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,
As you know, the recent meeting of the G20 minds in Hangzhou produced some glory for China and its Dear Leader. Not only were the Xiites* able to show off the beautiful blue skies of modern China and the orderly efficiency with which society goes about its daily life, they were also able to expose PrezO for the second-class fool of a statesman that he is. With a little help from a baijiu-soaked tarmac manager and a 4th-generation CPC photographer, the most harmonious leader of the free world was able to humiliate Barack Hussein** Obama by forcing him to scramble down a ladder from the back of his plane and into the far corner of an official photo. President Xi remained the gleeful center of adoration from the world’s leaders while the decadent Americans wept tears of shame and humiliation that their leader can’t match up with the likes of Xi, Putin, and Duterte.
Ever the eloquent statesman, Papasan issued a statement late last night at the GZH3 Press Conference from The Mango Bar: “While my patriotism and allegiances have never wavered from the People’s Republic of China, I recognize and acknowledge the paramount importance of Sino-American relations and the recent deterioration in their consanguinity. Accordingly, I pledge my energy and efficacy in incubating this vital relationship by setting the best hash ever with my Meiguo friend, Turtlehead.” (Turtlehead only got a few words out before his microphone was unplugged and his CPC translator took over).
On On Saturday as the Guangzhou Hash fosters Sino-American relations like nobody else can!
*So enamored with President Xi is the West, Elvis Costello even wrote a song about him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O040xuq2FR0
What: GZH3 Run #1397: The Sino-American Friendship Hash
When: Saturday September 17th – 1:00PM Sharp!
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exit B
Hares: Papasan & Turtlehead
How Much? 50rmb for GZ hashers and visitors. 120rmb for newcummers includes GZH3 welcum package.
What to Bring? Trail shoes, change of clothes/footwear, 50-70rmb for dinner.
-Three Inches of Pain