Back when this writer was just a confused lad trying on his mother’s heels, lipstick, and ABBA records, the origins of the Red Dress Run were taking shape in a land far, far away…
A young lady was once visiting San Diego and was told by her friend that she’d be meeting some friends after her arrival, so she smartly donned a chic red dress and stilettos for the occasion. Little did she know that she would be attending her first Hash, and her attire elicited a few laughs and sneers from the local half-minds. But after it was decided that she might “sit in the truck” and go to B point, the woman decided to “fuck ‘em” and go in her dress and heels, anyway. So impressed were the hashers that they raised funds for her return journey the following year, only for the famous (infamous?) Lady in Red (may she Hash in peace) to agree on the condition that all funds go to a local charity*.
Thus, the Red Dress Run was born.
Many years later, thousands of Red Dress Runs later, and tens of millions of dollars raised for charity later…. the Guangzhou Hash continues the great hashing tradition of the Run this Saturday. Satisfy the many urges that have been longing in your heart; going out in drag, giving to charity, and experiencing Crackers’ virgin haring! That’s right, your humble** narrator will have flour in one hand and Crackers’ leather leash in the other as we criss-cross the happy hashing hills of Guangzhou laying the best Red Dress trail ever with not one, but TWO beer stops!
Don’t forget! The Red Dress auction features items for sale to the highest bidder. Bring your own item to auction and/or bid on something else! Special thanks to Social & Co, Bandidos Mexican Grill, ATOC, 13 Factories and many hashers for their donations to the cause***!
*Find more info about the history of the Red Dress Run
**Sounds like, sounds like…
***Womb Raider is for sale! 3,000/per or 5,000 for the pair!
Three Inches of Pain
Grab your wig and wax your thighs – the locals they’ll avert their eyes,
Chubby gweilos cross the stream – holy shit it’s not a dream…
On and On the Red Dress goes – clad in scarlet run the hoes,
Orphans don’t get schooled for free – bring your fucking renminbi!
What: GZH3 #1509: The Red Dress Run 2018
Hares: Three Inches of Pain & VIRGIN HARE Crackers
When: 13:00 on Saturday October 13
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner. + shitloads of cash for charity.
Bring: Red dress, change of clothes, shoes and cash!