Categories
2019 Prize giving

Run #1571: ‘The Hold Your Breath Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
 
There’s a lot to hold your breath for on this Saturday’s Guangzhou Hash:
 
First off, while the real hashers ascend and slide along the slopes of Baiyunshan, several harriettes in the fairer half of the kennel will be dolling themselves up for the big night. Instead of sitting at home and wondering what kind of war paint the harriettes are plastering onto their faces as they prepare for a night on the prowl, spend your time getting a little dirt under your fingernails and a buzz on to get your own ugly self ready for the soiree.
 
Speaking of Baiyunshan – if you were on last week’s trail, you might have noticed what appeared to be a Kleenex and peanut butter graveyard about 14 km into the ballbuster trail. If you see anything like this on Saturday’s run, it is advised you hold your breath until the GM is around to drown out any other aromatic annoyances. This is especially important considering the tendencies of this week’s cohere:
 
TURTLEHEAD! I mean, cough, cough MAYBE Turtlehead. We’ve all seen this movie before, so it’s your choice whether you’re dumb enough to hold your breath and wait for another one of Turtlehead’s
 
BEST TRAIL EVER!
 
Cum Saturday and hold your breath for the handsome harriettes, the shitty but not shiggy trail, and (at your own risk) the Guangzhou Hash’s favorite maybe/possibly/prollynot cohare!
 
 
On On!
-The Hare(s?)
 
PS – Last few tickets available for the GZH3 Christmas Party & Annual Awards! Contact Hash Cash or GM ASAP.
 
What: GZ Hash Run #1571: The Hold Your Breath Hash
Hares: Three Inches of Pain and….gasp….maybe Turtlehead
When: Saturday, December 14th – 1:00pm SHARP!
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for transport, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, change of shoes, ample bronchial volume.

Categories
2018 Prize giving

Run #1518: ‘The Anticipated Reward Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

The Grandmaster enlisted this week’s hares with the task of warming up and stimulating the hashers for the big event on Saturday night. When the hares didn’t understand what he was talking about, Hunkaspunk drew an analogy between Saturday’s trail and the foreplay one engages in before sex. Unfortunately, the hares STILL didn’t know what the GM was talking about and asked for an example. Hunkaspunk explained to the lads that a real man takes the time to physically, mentally, and emotionally arouse his partner before introducing her to the Hunkajunk. “Ahhhhhh,” said the hares, as it became clear to them what the GM was asking them to do:

“Keep it short, simple, and get ‘em drunk.”

With this newfound wisdom, the hares have prepared a trail to stimulate all your hashing senses before the 2018 Christmas Party & Annual Awards. We’ll head to Baiyun, have a quick view of the sights, say hello to 2000 of our best friends on the mountain, and lube up our drinking muscles with a few congratulatory beers for this week’s best trail ever! Bus returns to Mango after a short circle so everyone can put on pretty clothes and mask their hideousness for the party.
On On!

-The Hares

What: GZHash #1518: The Anticipated Reward Hash
Hares: Three Inches Of Pain & Count von Cunt 
When: 13:00 on Saturday December 15
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5) 
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 35 RMB and 13+ 70 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run and drinks.
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes and a virgin

Categories
2013 Prize giving

Run #1245: ‘The Annual Awards Party”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,

This is the top event of the Hashing Season: The Annual Hash Awards Ceremony, aka ‘The Christmas Party’. History will once again be written when our most deserving hashers are bestowed priceless awards and fantastic prizes.

The Party starts on Saturday, December 14 @ 7.30 PM. As in previous years we party at the Wunderbar on Tianhe Bei Lu 175 – 181. German food, German beer and French wine and a great live band are included in the ridiculously low and heavily subsidized ticket price of 200 RMB. Tickets can be acquired during the ”Friday, The Thirteenth Hash”, or on Saturday at the Gold Mango Bar before the regular Hash. It goes without saying that there aren’t too many left, so you better hurry up.

A lot of people have asked ‘What? The GZH3 is still hashing before the Party?’ This is an extremely insensitive question. Of course there is a hash. There is a hash on EVERY given Saturday, cum rain, shine or Awards Ceremony. As always, we are going to meet at the Gold Mango Bar @ 1 PM. The bus leaves at 1.30 PM SHARP, and this time I mean EXTRA SHARP. The run has two essential runner/walker splits (2 and 1km respectively farther for runners) so that everybody will get back to the bins at about the same time. The circle will start as early as possible. The trail is a standard sized GZH3 run, therefore the circle has to be shortened, and swing-lowed around 5 PM to give hashers time to get showered and dressed before the party starts. The dress code is FORMAL. This is a beautiful, century-old tradition of the Guangzhou Hash and we aren’t going to change it.

When: Saturday, December 14 @ 1 PM

Where: Gold Mango Bar

Who: Muffdiver and 00

What: 88% virginal hash

On On,

00

Categories
2011 Prize giving

Run #1134: ‘The Christmas Hash and Awards Ceremony’

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Guangzhou Hash,

Now, with not even 60 hours to go until the Annual Christmas Party of the Guangzhou, tensions and confusion are getting increasingly high. So what is really going to happen on Saturday?

As usual, the hashers are going to meet at the Gold Mango Bar at 1.30 PM. Our most experienced hares Globetwatter and Sir Cum will bring us to a nearby run site where they are going to set a short, but still very sophisticated run. After the run we will hold a shortened circle, so that everybody gets back to GZ between 5PM and 5.30PM.

This leaves all party goers enough time to go home and get showered and dressed up for the Annual Christmas Party of the Guanghzou Hash.

The Party starts at 7,30 PM and takes place at the ‘Wunderbar”, a stylish German restaurant on Tianhe Bei Lu. Visit this link for the address and more information about the restaurant: http://www.cityweekend.com.cn/ guangzhou/listings/dining/ german/has/wunderbar-bavarian- bar-grill/

The ticket costs just 150 RMB and includes a German style buffet, German beer, imported wine and a chance to win one of the prestigious hash awards (aka ‘The Hashees’) for outstanding hashers.

And don’t forget to pay Hash Respect: Wear a formal dress. If you don’t know what a formal dress is, please contactHunkaspunk on hunka@spunk.com, or inquire by replying to this mail.

On On,

00

Categories
2009 Prize giving

#1029 and Annual Awards Party