Run #1573: ‘The Soft, Flaccid and Placid Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

Christmas is over and the New Year is cumming on quick. This is Hiking Club’s last opportunity to give you the gift she’s been holding back all year; the softest trail of the year. Just like your ex on a Friday night, this trail will have way too much alcohol and become disappointingly soft but maybe, just maybe, Hiking Club can find a bit of length in her pocket of trails or under a bush somewhere and somehow redeem herself.

On On!
The Hares
 
What: GZ Hash Run #1573: The Soft, Flaccid and Placid Hash
Hare: Hiking Club
When: 13:00 on Saturday December 28
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: change of clothes, swimsuit, umbrella, shoes, snacks & a virgin.

Run #1572: ‘The 12 K of Hashmas Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

On the first day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
A Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the second day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the third day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Three Hellish Climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the fourth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the fifth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the sixth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the seventh day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the eighth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the ninth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Nine Gay Men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
aand a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the tenth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Ten Chickens Clucking
Nine Gay men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the eleventh day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Eleven Dogs a Barking
Ten Chickens Clucking
Nine Gay Men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the twelfth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Twelve Hasher Singing
Eleven Dogs a Barking
Ten Chickens Clucking
Nine Gay Men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On on
The hares
 
What: GZ Hash Run #1572: The 12 K of Hashmas Hash
Hare: Hiking club and Surprise on the Thighs
When: 13:00 on Saturday December 21
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: change of clothes, umbrella, shoes, snacks for hiking club & a virgin.

Run #1571: ‘The Hold Your Breath Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
 
There’s a lot to hold your breath for on this Saturday’s Guangzhou Hash:
 
First off, while the real hashers ascend and slide along the slopes of Baiyunshan, several harriettes in the fairer half of the kennel will be dolling themselves up for the big night. Instead of sitting at home and wondering what kind of war paint the harriettes are plastering onto their faces as they prepare for a night on the prowl, spend your time getting a little dirt under your fingernails and a buzz on to get your own ugly self ready for the soiree.
 
Speaking of Baiyunshan – if you were on last week’s trail, you might have noticed what appeared to be a Kleenex and peanut butter graveyard about 14 km into the ballbuster trail. If you see anything like this on Saturday’s run, it is advised you hold your breath until the GM is around to drown out any other aromatic annoyances. This is especially important considering the tendencies of this week’s cohere:
 
TURTLEHEAD! I mean, cough, cough MAYBE Turtlehead. We’ve all seen this movie before, so it’s your choice whether you’re dumb enough to hold your breath and wait for another one of Turtlehead’s
 
BEST TRAIL EVER!
 
Cum Saturday and hold your breath for the handsome harriettes, the shitty but not shiggy trail, and (at your own risk) the Guangzhou Hash’s favorite maybe/possibly/prollynot cohare!
 
 
On On!
-The Hare(s?)
 
PS – Last few tickets available for the GZH3 Christmas Party & Annual Awards! Contact Hash Cash or GM ASAP.
 
What: GZ Hash Run #1571: The Hold Your Breath Hash
Hares: Three Inches of Pain and….gasp….maybe Turtlehead
When: Saturday, December 14th – 1:00pm SHARP!
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for transport, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, change of shoes, ample bronchial volume.

Run #1570: ‘The Baiyun Ballbreaker Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,
 
Cum Cannon and one of his haring harem began the Baiyun Ballbreaker tradition in 2016 as a way to prove that Baiyun Mountain still had a purpose besides hauling ayis up the mountain in glorified golf carts for photo shoots and fast food at the top.
 
Shoeless Ho, the venerable and venereal ex-ex-ex-ex-GM of the Guangzhou Hash, along with Scratch-n-Sniff, continued this annual escapade in 2017 by accidentally setting 18km on the first hot-n-humid day of the year, causing the circle to consist of a bunch of dehydrated hashers mumbling “heeshahasherthrooranthroo” before seeking refuge at the bottom of a soju bottle in Sanyuanli.
 
One year ago, a fit Womb Raider helped a bloke half her age through the mountainous midnight after he realized a GZH3 ballbuster was a liiiittle different than what he was used to in Bangkok.
 
We go back to the Holiest of Happy Guangzhou Hashing Grounds this Saturday for the BAIYUN BALLBREAKER.
 
Walkers and Runners trail available also!!!
 
On On!
-The Hares
 
What: GZ Hash Run #1570: The Baiyun Ballbreaker Hash
Hares: Three Inches of Pain and Just Eros
When: Saturday, December 7th – 1:00pm SHARP!
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, change of shoes, balls.

Run #1567: ‘The “It’s the GM’s Job to Write the Hashvertisement” Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash House Harriers,

In his attempt to find a TRULY virgin trail for the GZ Hash this week, your hare went to Maofengshan on Monday. He went to Tianluhu on Tuesday. On Wednesday he went to Dayuan. Then on Thurdsday Dafushan. Now on the slopes of Luogang, as he attempts to scout the most virginest of hash trails for all his fellow hashers, he finds himself without the virgin trail he had hoped for, and with even less of a hashvertisement.

Onon…?

The Hare

What: GZ Hash Run #1567: The “It’s the GM’s Job to Write the Hashvertisement” Hash
Hares: Turtlehead, Just Mia
When: 13:00 on Saturday November 23rd
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Suncream, change of clothes, shoes & insect repellent

Run #1566: ‘The Hunka Hunka Jungle Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash House Harriers,

Some like it hard and.long, some like it short and soft and others again go for a mean semi.That”s why your GM decided to please all and set 3 trails on 1 Saturday. Some cum and enjoy either a heavy ballbuster, soft Walker or mediocre running trail.

Onon!

The Hare

What: GZ Hash Run #1566: Tbe Hunka Hunka Jungle Hash
Hares: Hunkaspunk
When: 13:00 on Saturday November 16th
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Suncream, change of clothes, shoes & insect repellent

Run #1565: ‘The Coffin and Splutterin No More Training Wheels Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash House Harriers,

Icy winds howl about the streets and good citizens lunge for their blankets as Autumn descends on Guangzhou. But there is more than just a nasty nip in the air…

What is that threaded through the trees and mountains? Nothing less than a pall of cigarette smoke shrouding a mysterious figure and his sweaty hunchbeard accomplice as they plunge through the dusty landscape.

This week, after months in torpor, The Count flings open his casket and strides forth to carve his name into haring history. Expect nothing but hills, flour and abandoned chicken farms.

Walkers BEWARE! This trail is an equal opportunity and inclusive trail that does not discriminate between Hashers

Onon!

The Hares

What: GZ Hash Run #1565: The Coffin and Splutterin No More Training Wheels Hash
Hares: Count von Cunt and Surprise on the Thighs
When: 13:00 on Saturday November 9th
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Suncream, change of clothes, shoes & a virgin (in a nightgown for preference).

Run #1563: ‘The Red Dress Run 2019’

Back when this writer was watching confused lads trying on their mother’s heels, lipstick, and Chris DeBurgh records, the origins of the Red Dress Run were taking shape in a land far, far away…
 
A young lady was once visiting San Diego and was told by her friend that she’d be meeting some friends after her arrival, so she smartly donned a chic red dress and stilettos for the occasion. Little did she know that she would be attending her first Hash, and her attire elicited a few laughs and sneers from the local half-minds. But after it was decided that she might “sit in the truck” and go to B point, the woman decided to “fuck ‘em” and go in her dress and heels, anyway. So impressed were the hashers that they raised funds for her return journey the following year, only for the famous (infamous?) Lady in Red (may she Hash in peace) to agree on the condition that all funds go to a local charity.   Thus, the Red Dress Run was born.   Many years later, thousands of Red Dress Runs later, and tens of millions of RMB and dollars raised for charity later…. the Guangzhou Hash continues the great hashing tradition of the Run this Saturday. Satisfy the many urges that have been longing in your heart; going out in drag, giving to charity, and experiencing a LIVE TRAIL in Red Dress! That’s right, LIVE TRAIL. With flour in one hand and the dress in the other to enable running along Guangzhou’s beautiful hills.   Ending with beer, bar, KTV and the annual Red Dress auction features items for sale to the highest bidder. Bring your own item to auction and bid on something else! Special thanks to restaurants and hashers for their donations to the cause*!
 
*Find more info about the history of the Red Dress Run
**3IOP’s chest is for sale! 3,000 for the hair!
 
On On!
The Hares

What: GZH3 #1563: The Red Dress Run 2019
Hares: Forget Me Twat & Lost Sausage
When: 13:00 on Saturday October 19
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5) 
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner. + shitloads of cash for charity.
Bring: Red dress MANDATORY, change of clothes, shoes and cash! 

Run #1561: ‘3 generations of degeneration part 2’ Hash

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash House Harriers,

Cum and join an extraspecial just Nila birthday bash! For the 2nd year running, 3 generations of Hunka will take you up and down, in and out and maybe even back to Guangzhou at night. Wetness guaranteed, pool maybe.

Onon!

The Hares

What: GZ Hash Run #1561: 3 generations of degeneration part 2
Hares: Just Nila, Just Hubertine and Hunkaspunk
When: 13:00 on Saturday october 5
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Swimming gear, suncream, umbrella, shoes & a virgin.