Categories
2018

Run #1510: ‘The Lying Virgin trail’

As you know, this week’s hares include two virgin hares and Hiking club. Our three hares were talking one night and found that while their first times were all of considerable length, the softness was unexpected.

This week’s trail promises to be long and soft much like a Friday night after too much whisky. If you were expecting bushwhacking, bugs, and steep technical inclines (all things definitive of hiking club trails and hiking club in general) you’ll find yourself as disappointed as a virgin who has watched too much porn. 

What: GZH3 #1510: The Lying Virgin trail
Hares: Hikingclub & VIRGIN HARES Cock Block and Bend Over
When: 13:00 on Saturday October 20
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5) 
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, trail shoes, 130 rmb & snacks

Categories
2018 Red dress hash

Run #1509: ‘The Red Dress Run 2018’

Back when this writer was just a confused lad trying on his mother’s heels, lipstick, and ABBA records, the origins of the Red Dress Run were taking shape in a land far, far away…

A young lady was once visiting San Diego and was told by her friend that she’d be meeting some friends after her arrival, so she smartly donned a chic red dress and stilettos for the occasion. Little did she know that she would be attending her first Hash, and her attire elicited a few laughs and sneers from the local half-minds. But after it was decided that she might “sit in the truck” and go to B point, the woman decided to “fuck ‘em” and go in her dress and heels, anyway. So impressed were the hashers that they raised funds for her return journey the following year, only for the famous (infamous?) Lady in Red (may she Hash in peace) to agree on the condition that all funds go to a local charity*.

Thus, the Red Dress Run was born.

Many years later, thousands of Red Dress Runs later, and tens of millions of dollars raised for charity later…. the Guangzhou Hash continues the great hashing tradition of the Run this Saturday. Satisfy the many urges that have been longing in your heart; going out in drag, giving to charity, and experiencing Crackers’ virgin haring! That’s right, your humble** narrator will have flour in one hand and Crackers’ leather leash in the other as we criss-cross the happy hashing hills of Guangzhou laying the best Red Dress trail ever with not one, but TWO beer stops!

Don’t forget! The Red Dress auction features items for sale to the highest bidder. Bring your own item to auction and/or bid on something else! Special thanks to Social & Co, Bandidos Mexican Grill, ATOC, 13 Factories and many hashers for their donations to the cause***!

*Find more info about the history of the Red Dress Run
**Sounds like, sounds like…
***Womb Raider is for sale! 3,000/per or 5,000 for the pair!

On On!
Three Inches of Pain

Grab your wig and wax your thighs – the locals they’ll avert their eyes,
Chubby gweilos cross the stream – holy shit it’s not a dream…
On and On the Red Dress goes – clad in scarlet run the hoes,
Orphans don’t get schooled for free – bring your fucking renminbi!

What: GZH3 #1509: The Red Dress Run 2018
Hares: Three Inches of Pain & VIRGIN HARE Crackers
When: 13:00 on Saturday October 13
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner. + shitloads of cash for charity.
Bring: Red dress, change of clothes, shoes and cash!

Categories
2018

Run #1508: ‘The 3 generations of degeneration hash’

Ladies and “gentlemen’ of the Guangzhou Hash House Harriers,

Cum and join tomorrow’s hash for a truly unique event. Let just Nila and her flour bitches guide your way through the sunny and gentle rolling hills of Maofengshan. After a enjoyable and refreshing walk you have the last chance for this year to dip your balls and/or other parts into one of the hash’s favourite pools.

During the circle there will be plenty of opportunity to congratulate your fearless leader Hunkaspunk on keeping just Nila alive for a whole tour of 940 million km around our sun. Talk about long and hard! Any Bretts that love beer (do you like beer?) will be amply satisfied.

Cum, walk swim, drink, eat and drink, drink, drink,

Onon

Just Nila, Just Hubertine & Hunkaspunk

What: Run #1508: The 3 generations of degeneration hash
Hares: Just Nila, Just Hubertine & Hunkaspunk
When: 13:00 on Saturday October 6
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit

Categories
2018

GZH3 Run #1506: The Procrastination Hash

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

School is just starting and you know what that means! Its time for Hiking Club to start avoiding class by spending days in the mountains with no phone service. Unfortunately, Womb Raider, being the paid researcher that she is, doesn’t have time for that shit.

They decided they had no recourse, but to do the University of Phoenix course in scouting– online, of course. They pulled up their six different scouting apps, cracked a book open (unfortunately, it was one of Hiking Clubs bodice rippers so that was no help) and listened to lectures given by the best culinary professors in Guangzhou. In the way of all brilliant academic manuscripts, this Saturdays trail will be frantically thrown together last minute, in an over-night/early morning bout of hastily written bullshit. Cum Saturday and find out what excellent procrastinators Womb Raider and Hiking club have become.

Onon
– Hiking Club & Womb Raider

What: GZH3 Run #1506: The Procrastination Hash
Hares: Hiking Club & Womb Raider
When: 13:00 on Saturday September 15
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit

Categories
2018

GZH3 Run #1505: The Fabulous Rainbow Hash

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

The Fabulous Rainbow Hash: DEEPly back-pressured by some 11IOPleasure, some of the «happiest» hares in the Guangzhou Hash decided to bring back color, glitter, and glamour to the usually very monochromatic trails! Who knew this would make the most mythical creature of the forest (and of the sea) CUM back to life: You should expect blue lagoons, horny unicorns (ready-to explode horny!), thick and fast growing hard bamboo shoots, scissoring pink flamingos, and transgender mairmades at the various cocktail stops….since same sex on the trail will exceptionally be permitted, speed records are to be broken. While Open-minded Hares, on the other hand, would take it very slow….get ready to celebrate life and it’s diversity! For the most friendly hash ever!

ONON

What: Run#1505: The Fabulous Rainbow Hash
Hares: Creamy Buns, Dingle Berry, Pooper Scooper, Pornstache, Handyman
When: 13:00 on Saturday September 8th
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (line5)
Cost:0~6 yo free, 7~12 yo 65RMB and 13+130RMB cash or Wechat for bus, run,drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit.

 

Categories
2018

GZH3 Run #1504: The Homecumming Hash

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

Guangzhou hashers far and wide, unite! This weekend will see the long awaited return of some of the Chosen Ones! To commemorate this super special event, the hares promised to set a super soft cock walker trail for the old farts that did not show up for a while and a beast or a running trail for those that still consider themselves fit. After the trail and a ritual cleansing of old sweat, the circle is sure to be full of classic down downs and sounds some still dream about after a heavy hot pot.

So, fit or fat; join this Saturday for a super special hash through the nearly untouched hills of Guangzhou.

Onon

Hunkaspunk

What: Run #1504: The Homecumming Hash
Hares: Lost Sausage and Catch & Release
When: 13:00 on Saturday September 1
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit

Tentative program for the months to cum

September 8
Guangzhou Pride Hash

September 20-22
All China Nash Hash, see details below.

October 13
Red Dress Hash 2018

November 23
Guangzhou Full Moon Hash #150

December 15
Annual formal party

January 12-13, 2019
Hot spring away hash

March 9-10, 2019
35 years of hashing in Guangzhou!

Categories
2018

GZH3 Run #1503: The Trouble Couple Hash Take 2

Ladies and “Gentelemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

After a long and hard sabbatical in the land of Trump’s freedom, the Hareraiser returns to the GZ Hash with more lefthand Experience and Cumpany.

Together with Forget Me Twat, they will show you what real partner understanding should looks like. spontaneous, late gathering at wrong A point location, misleading marks and false directed trails are the challenges on the way to the icy cold pool at B. Combined with forgotten mosquito spray, hangover headache and sharp drawn wings they will show you the true face of a Trouble Couple.

OnOn
Lost Sausage & Forget me Twat

What: GZH3 Run #1503: The Trouble Couple Hash TAKE 2
Hares: Lost Sausage & Forget Me Twat
When: 13:00 on Saturday August 25
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit

Categories
2018

GZH3 Run #1502: ‘The Handyman Memorial Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,For all the beautiful trails, classic fuckups, scenic beer stops, pool drinks, antics in the circle, and boisterous bus rides back to the Mango Bar, the Hash really comes down to the friendships made and memories shared with fellow hashers. Not many in the Guangzhou Hash have contributed to providing more of the aforementioned than Handyman, who we remember this Saturday as he moves on-on to the Great Hash in the Sky.

Sadly, Handyman passed away at his home on August 9th by his own choosing. He will be remembered as a terrific hasher, excellent hare and overall great friend. He will be sorely missed.

As every hare knows; your last hash is the one that counts. So in his honor, Handyman’s last trail will be set one last time: with a beer stop farewell before we convene at B point to share memories and laughter in the circle. In memoriam, we ask that hashers wear black on trail for this run.

A collection will also be taken and presented in Handyman’s name to a suicide prevention organization operating here in China. Those not able to attend may contact the GM or Hash Cash to donate. If even one life can be positively affected by our efforts, it will be an exceptional tribute to our friend and fellow hasher.
Join this Saturday as we remember the one, the only, and the true blue – Handyman.

On On.

What: Run #1502: The Handyman Memorial Hash
Hares: Handyman
When: Saturday August 18, at 13:00
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Black running gear, change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit

Need help? Call one of the numbers below:

In Chinese:
Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center Hotline (24/7):
0800-810-1117 or 010-82951332
http://www.crisis.org.cn

Guangzhou Crisis Research and Intervention Center (24/7):
020-81899120 or 020-12320-5

In English:
Lifeline Shanghai (daily 10:00-22:00):
021-62798990
https://www.lifeline-shanghai.com/

Categories
2018

Run #1501: ‘The Trouble Couple Hash’

Ladies and ‘Gentlemen’ of the GZ Hash,

After a long and hard sabbatical in the land of Trump’s freedom, the Hareraiser returns to the GZ Hash with more lefthand Experience and Cumpany.

Together with Forget Me Twat, they will show you what real partner understanding should looks like. spontaneous, late gathering at wrong A point location, misleading marks and false directed trails are the challenges on the way to the icy cold pool at B. Combined with forgotten mosquito spray, hangover headache and sharp drawn wings they will show you the true face of a Trouble Couple.

OnOn
Lost Sausage & Forget me Twat

What: GZH3 Run #1501: The Trouble Couple Hash
Hares: Lost Sausage & Forget Me Twat
When: 13:00 on Saturday August 11
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Change of clothes, shoes and bathing suit

 

Categories
2018

GZH3 Run #1499 : The Arse over Tits Hash

Ladies and ‘gentlemen’ of the Guangzhou Hash:

Are you tired of Womb Raider dragging you through bush as thick as the hair on Silver Bullets legs, as dense as Hiking Clubs feminist ‘ideals’, as shaggy as the armpits on the last Chinese girl you picked up in Mango Bar on a Saturday night?
Are you sick of having to crawl through shrubbery on your hands and knees, and of trails leaving you scratched and bitten?
Well, so is Forget me Twat – so this week she has taken Womb Raider in hand and shown her how to set a trail as smooth, clean and ‘virgin’ as [enter favourite hashers name here] well shaven buttcrack! Not convinced – then cum this Saturday to find out for yourselves what this pneumatic hareing duo discovered while skipping gaily hand in hand through the wilds of outer GZ.
On On
Womb Raider & Forget me Twat

What: Run #1499 The Arse over Tits Hash
Hares: Womb Raider & Forget me Twat
When: 13:00 on Saturday August 4th
Where: Mango Bar Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: Swimsuit, mosquito repellent, sun screen, change of clothes & dignity.