Categories
2020

Run #1574: ‘The best hash 2020’

BEST HASH 2020
Ladies and Gentlemen of the GZH3,

Remember the first trail of 2019? WE DO!!
So Forget-me-twat & Pooper scooper are providing the first and the best trail of 2020 AGAIN!!!!
大意就是我们2019年best hash连提名都没有,大为恼火,所以这次杀回来就是为了得奖什么的.
 
On on
The Hares
 
What: GZ Hash Run #1574: The best hash 2020
Hare: Forget-Me-Twat & Pooper Scooper
When: 13:00 on Saturday January 4th
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0-6 yo free, 7-12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, FREE FLOW and dinner.
Bring: change of clothes, umbrella, shoes, snacks, babies for Forget-me-twat and virgins for Pooper scooper

Categories
2019

Run #1572: ‘The 12 K of Hashmas Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

On the first day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
A Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the second day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the third day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Three Hellish Climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the fourth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the fifth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the sixth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the seventh day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the eighth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the ninth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Nine Gay Men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
aand a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the tenth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Ten Chickens Clucking
Nine Gay men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the eleventh day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Eleven Dogs a Barking
Ten Chickens Clucking
Nine Gay Men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On the twelfth day of Hashmas
my true love sent to me:
Twelve Hasher Singing
Eleven Dogs a Barking
Ten Chickens Clucking
Nine Gay Men Dancing
Eight Shushus Riding
Seven Ayis Farming
Six Geese a Roastin’
Five Harbins
Four Flasks of Wine
Three Hellish climbs
Two Lost Hares
and a Full Bucket of Hash Beer

On on
The hares
 
What: GZ Hash Run #1572: The 12 K of Hashmas Hash
Hare: Hiking club and Surprise on the Thighs
When: 13:00 on Saturday December 21
Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Exit B (Line 5)
Cost: 0 – 6 yo free, 7 – 12 yo 65 RMB and 13+ 130 RMB cash or WeChat for bus, run, drinks and dinner.
Bring: change of clothes, umbrella, shoes, snacks for hiking club & a virgin.

Categories
2017

#1421 & 1422 – The Hot Springs Hashes

Categories
2017

#1419 – The Appeasement Hash

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Categories
2017

#1417 – The Rise of the Cock Hash

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Categories
2017

#1414 – The Double Fourteen Hash

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Categories
2016

Run #1413: ‘The Fuck-Off 2016 Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

2016 gave us Brexit, President Trump, ‘Suicide Squad,’ that one trail by Three Inches of Pain, heinous acts of terrorism, No Means No, and an endless list of other tragedies. It also took a number of legends from us; Prince, Bowie, Himalaya, Arnold Palmer, Leonard Cohen, Hello Sailor, Muhammad Ali, Princess Leia, and Double-00*.

Cum Saturday to not only celebrate the official fucking-off of 2016, but also the fucking off of Thumbelprints on Jan. 1 as she returns to Malaysia. We’ve become so liberated that the Hash Cash is leaving that the best caption on the attached photo wins a FREE HASH. Go.

As many of you have likely committed to spending 1000s of RMB on shitty service at overcrowded parties, there will be NO HASH DINNER and the bus will be leaving B-point around 6:30.

*Coincidentally, both Carrie Fisher and Double-00 looked great in a gold bikini in 1983.

 

What: GZH3 Run #1413: Fuck Off 2016

When: Saturday, December 31st- 1:00PM SHARP! No hash bash means early arrival to Mango – approx. 7:30pm.

Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exit B

Hares: Thumbelprints & Fill-Her-Up!

 

To get the ball rolling on hashing in 2017, the Guangzhou Metro Hash makes its 3rd run as we continue the haring education of Seedy Gonzales. Will he learn to cum slowly and lovingly like Turtlehead, or will he prematurely and quickly spray his seed all over Guangzhou like Cum Cannon? 

We’ll see who is able to seduce Seedy with their methods as we run A-to-A from Xiangang Exit D, which is on the new eastern extension of Line 6. Follow the flour from Exit D to find the A-Point restaurant a short walk away. Dinner/beer will be divided equally.

 

What: GZMetroHash #3: The Sexual Education of Seedy

When: Monday, January 2nd – Meet at 1PM, On On at 1:30PM

Where: Xiangang Metro Exit D (Line 6) (Follow flour to A)

Hares: Cum Cannon, Turtlehead, & Seedy Gonzalez

 

On On!

-Three Inches of Pain

Categories
2016

Run #1412 ‘The ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Hash’

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

Turtlehead claims that he has found a pandora’s box of trails that he plans to give to you tomorrow for the GZH3 Christmas Eve hash. Not only that, you might be able to find yourself enjoying a nice turkey dinner for Christmas Eve if the hares are in a giving mood. Hopefully it will be a better gift than the empty bottle of Miller High Life that was hurled at Turtlehead’s noggin on Christmas Eve in 1998.

Triple XXX-Ray joins him as sugar plum fairies dance in his head*. As you may have seen in the Hash Awards presentation, this week’s co-hare has a little more muscle in one arm than the other, so my advice to you is to turn right at every check.

On On tomorrow for what will surely be the best Christmas Eve hash in years!

*Sugar plum fairies rubbing each other with oil.

What: GZH3 Run #1412: ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

When: Saturday, December 24th- 1:00PM SHARP!

Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exit B

Hares: T2: Turtlehead & Triple XXX-Ray

On On!

-Three Inches of Pain

Categories
2016

#1411 – The Revenge of the Hash Cash Hash

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Categories
2016

#1407 – The Couple of the Year Hash

Ladies and “Gentlemen” of the Guangzhou Hash,

This weekend’s hash features the GZH3’s newest power haring couple, the duo of Hunkaspunk & Hippie Hunter (H3). With such a string of recent trails set together, this GM is beginning to wonder if H3 isn’t trying to claim the “Couple of the Year” award for themselves at the upcumming Hash Awards & Christmas Party (see below). 

This recent development makes that decision a little more difficult, as I was already scratching my head about which couple to choose. The final five candidates were already decided…

Forget-Me-Twat & Lost Sausage

Scratch-N-Sniff & Itchy Britches

Cum Cannon & Itchy Britches

Triple XXX-Ray & Triple XXX-Ray’s right hand

Red Rocket & Just Naomi

With the addition of a sixth couple vying for “Mom & Pop of the Guangzhou Hash,” this weekend’s trail will go a long way in deciding who is the sexiest, strongest, fastest, best-drinking pair of hashers in the land. Cum Saturday for what promises to be another “Best Hash Ever” by the H3 Boys!!!

 

What: GZH3 Run #1407: The Couple of the Year Hash

When: Saturday, November 19th- 1:00PM Sharp!

Where: Mango Bar – Taojin Metro Exit B

Hares: Hunkaspunk & Hippie Hunter

 

On On!

-Three Inches of Pain